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We settle airly in my country; it's one of our institootions." Another gleam of joy and impudence shot across the pallid face. "I'm thinking of settling shortly myself."
"Which we reads the foregoin' with onmixed pleasure, an' thar ain't a gent but who's plumb convinced that a newspaper, that a-way, is the bulwark of civilizations an' corner-stone of American institootions, which it's allowed to be by the voices of them ages.
Old Bourbon was a thing he couldn't resist. He had an awful poor opinion of all the rest of our American institootions, and used to say they wa'n't o' no account as compared to what he used to have to home in England; but when it come to Bourbon whisky, he was as full-mouthed as Uncle Henry Clay himself. He 'lowed there wa'n't anything either in England or in Canada to touch it.
He's all for Church and Queen and he hates republican institootions like poison. Which is likewise my own feelings to a T." No one had taken any notice of Miss Crampton, and she stopped amazed. "Wall," answered the youth, diligently whittling, "I think small potatoes of ye-our lo-cation myself but ye-our monarchical government, I guess, hez not yet corrupted the he-eart of the Grand.
"I 'uz just wonderin'," he pursued, picking his teeth meditatively with a pen-knife, "'ow they feeds you in them as-ylums. 'Avin' never been inside one, myself, it's on'y natural I'd be cur'us.... There was one of them institootions near where I was borned Birming'am, that is. I used to see the loonies playin' in the grounds.
But the Americans gathered that it was something he used to do "down East," and they were sympathetic at once. "That's right, you bet," one gray-haired man with a young face exclaimed, getting rid of a bulky chew of tobacco that had slightly impeded his utterance. "There's nothin' like keepin' up old institootions." By two o'clock fully one hundred people had gathered. Thomas was radiant.
I'll tell 'ee about 'em, lass, some other time how they saves hundreds o' lives, an' relieves no end o' distress annooally. It's enough just now to say that the two Institootions is what I calls brother an' sister the Lifeboat one bein' the brother; the Shipwrecked Mariners' one bein' the sister. The brother, besides savin' thousands o' pounds worth o' goods, saves hundreds o' lives every year.
Our big meetin' came off the other night, and our old friend of the "Bugle" was elected Cheerman. The "Bugle-Horn of Liberty" is one of Baldinsville's most eminentest institootions. The advertisements are well- written, and the deaths and marriages are conducted with signal ability. The editor, MR. SLINKERS, is a polish'd, skarcastic writer.
Why not elect him for eight, for twelve, or for life? for eternity if it were possible to find one who could continue to live? It is to this way of thinking that Americans are driven, when the polish of Europe has made the roughness of their own elections odious to them. "Have you seen any of our great institootions, sir?"
"I've seen the lifeboat we have here, you know, but I never heard of the Institootion." "Well, well, Susan, I needn't be surprised, for, to say truth, there's many in this country, who think no small beer o' theirselves, that know precious little about either the one or the other, although they're the most valooable Institootions in the country.
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