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Updated: June 27, 2025
The daily recurring boast of "our glorious institootions, sir," always provokes the ridicule of an Englishman. The words have become ridiculous, and it would, I think, be well for the nation if the term "Institution" could be excluded from its vocabulary. But, in truth, they are glorious. The country in this respect boasts, but it has done that which justifies a boast.
"See here," continued Haco, warming with his subject as he led Susan past the dormitories where the Russians, who had been maimed during the recent wrecks, were being supplied with dinner in their berths, "see here, another o' the best o' the institootions o' this land looks arter them poor fellers, an' pays their shot for 'em as long as they're here, an' sends them to their homes free of expense that's the Shipwrecked Fishermen's and Mariners' Society.
In this call it was most positively and clearly stated that the contract was to be awarded to the lowest risponsible bidder who gave the proper bonds. Two risponses were made to this call, wan by Mrs. Grogan, acting on behalf of her husband, well known to be a hopeless cripple in wan of the many charitable institootions of our noble State, and the other by our distinguished fellow-townsman, Mr.
"Well, sir, something about republican institootions." "Ah! and so you hate them like poison?" "Yes, in a manner of speaking I do. But I've been a-thinking," continued Swan, taking the nails out of his lips and leaning in at the window, "I've been a-thinking as it ain't noways fair, if all men is ekal which you're allers upholding that you should say Swan, and I should say Mister Crayshaw."
Now, there's Tom; it's changed his heart from cows and horses to motor-cars and airyplanes." "It was in a hospital " said Dick. "Them hospitals!" she interrupted. "I know 'em. And very dangerous institootions I consider 'em." "I see you do so you will understand that part.
Be r-readin' th' pa-apers ye'd think a bachelor was a man bor-rn with a depraved an' parvarse hathred iv wan iv our most cherished institootions, an' anti- expansionist d'ye mind. But'tis no such thing. A bachelor's a man that wud extind his benificint rule over all th' female wurruld, fr'm th' snow-capped girls iv Alaska to th' sunny eileens iv th' Passyfic.
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