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Updated: September 19, 2025
They was about the best qualified judges o' that kind o' work I ever met up with, an' I'll own 'at I never felt prouder in my life 'an I did when Hammy slapped me on the back as soon as I finished an' sez to Artie, "Me Lord, this is a typical American. He plans his life on larger things than rules; but you can depend on him yea, though the heavens fall, you can depend on Jack here."
That's it exactly." "Ho! But then you see, Hammy, you're a philosopher and I'm not, and that makes all the difference.
"I does twy," piped Hammy weakly, "and ven my tummy shuts, and it isn't no use twying any more." The Mother-Superior brought a gaily-coloured little china cup of that rare luxury, new milk, and bent over him, saying cheerfully, as she held it to the colourless mouth, "Not always, Hammy. Taste this." "No, fank you." He turned his head away, tightly shutting his eyes.
The deft fingers twirled out and pocketed the cartridge-packed chambers, and put the harmless weapon into the childish hands. "It's veway heavy," Hammy said dolefully, as the shining Army Smith & Wesson wobbled in his feeble clutches, then wavered and sank ingloriously down upon his lap. "If you had drunk the milk you might have found it lighter. Suppose we try now. Attention!"
"Well done, Hammy," shouted Harry, indulging in a prolonged peal of laughter when he ascertained that his friend's adventure had cost him nothing more than a ducking; "that was the most amicable, loving plunge I ever saw." "Better a cold bath in the arms of a dead bear than an embrace on dry land with a live one," retorted Hamilton, as he wrung the water out of his dripping garments.
"My children shall never believe anything else!" He was grave and sympathetic, though a muscle in his thin cheek twitched. "I believe the toy Ark of our happy childish memories is built, if not of gopher-wood, at least upon the lines laid down in Scripture. Has Hammy ever tried to get his to float? Mine invariably used to sink straight to the bottom of the bath.
Yet, somehow, I think I should be uncommonly sorry after all if we were really sent back. There's a queer contradiction, Hammy: we're sorry and happy at the same time! If I were the skipper now, I would found a philosophical argument upon it." "Which the skipper would carry on with untiring vigour," said Hamilton, smiling, "and afterwards make an entry of in his log.
When he registered himself thus, I see Locals an' Hammy open their eyes, an' I knew 'at we had landed somethin' purty stately. "I am pleased to meet you, me lord," sez Hammy, in his most gorgeous manner. "I am Gene De Arcy. You may have heard of my father, the multimillionaire."
"How stupid of me!" he exclaimed, while the others loaded their guns. "Never mind; better luck next time," said Harry, as they resumed their walk. "I saw the flock settle down about half-a-mile in advance of us; so step out." Another short walk brought the sportsmen again within range. "Go to the front, Hammy," said the accountant, "and take the first shot this time." Hamilton obeyed.
"What's wrong now, Hammy?" inquired his friend, looking over his shoulder. "Oh, nothing worth mentioning rather a sharp blow from a branch, that's all." "Well, proceed; you've interrupted yourself twice in what you were going to say. Perhaps it'll come out if you try it a third time."
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