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Updated: May 16, 2025
On one of our departures for America, Fussie was left behind by mistake at Southampton. He could not get across the Atlantic, but he did the next best thing. He found his way back from there to his own theater in the Strand, London! Fred Archer sent him originally to the stage-door at the Lyceum.
The man who brought him out from there to my house in Earl's Court said: "I'm afraid he gives tongue, Miss. He don't like music, anyway. There was a band at the bottom of your road, and he started hollering." We were at luncheon when Fussie made his début into the family circle, and I very quickly saw his stomach was his fault. He had a great dislike to "Charles I."; we could never make out why.
There was a simple coming in for one woman acting at Brooklyn on her birthday! Brooklyn is as sure a laugh in New York as the mother-in-law in a London music hall. "All cities begin by being lonesome," a comedian explained, "and Brooklyn has never gotten over it." My only complaint against Brooklyn was that they would not take Fussie in at the hotel there.
SENATOR: Cultivated gentlemen are all right. I'd hate to see a world they ran. SENATOR LEWIS turns and examines the books. SENATOR: Quite a place to look for a book. I thought I'd put it back. Somebody might want it. SENATOR: I see, young lady, that you have a regard for books. FUSSIE: Oh, yes, I do have a regard for them. FUSSIE: Oh it's it's nothing. Nothing? FUSSIE: Oh, I didn't mean him.
Tussie was not bold like Robin. He was a gentle youth who loved quiet things, quiet places, placid people, kind dogs, books, canaries even, if they did not sing too loud. He was sensitive about himself, being small and weakly, and took, as I have said, great care of what he had of health, such care indeed that some of his robust friends called him Fussie.
FUSSIE: Now, listen, Horace, and don't you tell. You know Eben Weeks. He's the homeliest man in school. Wouldn't you say so? HORACE: Awful jay. Like to get some of the jays out of here. DORIS: But listen. Of course, no girl would look at him. I heard old Mac hold him up for it and what'd you think he said? That he'd been ploughing.
HORACE: Oh, well Holden, he's erratic. Look at how popular Madeline is. DORIS: I should say. What's the matter with you, Fussie? FUSSIE: Oh, I didn't mean it really hurt her. HORACE: Guess it don't hurt her much at a dance. Say, what's this new jazz they were springing last night? DORIS: I know! Now look here, Horace L'me show you. HORACE: I get you. FUSSIE: Be careful.
HORACE: Want me to play with you, Madeline? HORACE: Same here. FUSSIE: Aren't cousins affectionate? HORACE: Well, I can tell you without your looking it up, he did say it. But that was an age of different values. Anyway, the fact that they're quoting it shows it's being misapplied. DORIS: What are you two talking about? HORACE: Madeline happened to overhear a little discussion down on the campus.
"But there are, I suppose, other hotels?" "If it will be any comfort to you to have your dog with you, sir, do by all means, but I assure you that he'll catch no rat here." "I'll be on the safe side," said Henry calmly. And so it was settled. That very night Fussie supped off, not rats, but terrapin and other delicacies in Henry's private sitting-room.
The children took him up to the window at the back of the scene, and he stayed there cowering between them until the end of the play. America seems to have been always fatal to Fussie. Another time when Henry and I were playing in some charity performance in which John Drew and Maude Adams were also acting, he disgraced himself again.
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