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Updated: May 23, 2025
Wall, we drinked our lemonade, I a quietly takin' out the straws and droppin' 'em on the floor at my side in a quiet ladylike manner, and Josiah, a bein' wunk at by me, doin' the same thing. And anon, our carriage drove up to the end of the piazza agin and we sot sail homewards.
"Wall," sez I, "you must do as you are a mind to, with fear and tremblin'." I thought mebby quotin' Scripture to him would kinder quell him down, for he wuz fearfully agitated and wrought up about the Everlastin' spring. And he begun at once to calculate on it, on how much he could drink of it, if he begun early in the mornin' and drinked late at night. But I kep' on megum.
One of the sons looked so natural, and his expression of despair and sufferin' wuz so intense that Arvilly said: "I believe he drinked, his face shows a guilty conscience, and his ma looks jest as the mother of drunkards always looks."
And then another of her aunts, Drusilly Pester, married a industrious, hard-workin' man, one that never drinked, wuz sound on the doctrines, and give good measure to his customers, he wuz a groceryman. And a master hand for wantin' to foller the laws of his country as tight as laws could be follered.
The funeral cake was sweet to their tongues, and the tea mildly exhilarating. When they came at last to bid farewell to Ann there was in their faces a pleasant unctuousness which they could not wholly veil with sympathetic sorrow. The childish old lady was openly hilarious. "That was the best cup o' tea I ever drinked," she whispered loud in Ann's ear. Jerome gave a scowl of utter contempt at her.
I drinked the waters that seemed to help me and made me feel better, but wuz megum in it, and didn't get over excited about any on 'em. But oh! oh! the quantities of that water that Josiah Allen took!
And we drinked a glass full of it a piece, and then we wandered out of the back door-way, and went down into the pretty; old-fashioned garden back of the house. Josiah and me and Miss Flamm went. The dog and the two relatives didn't seem to want to go. The relatives sot up there straight as two sticks, one of 'em holdin' the dog, and they didn't even look round at us.
Crassus drinked and that Miss Crassus wuz broken-hearted by her grief and anxiety and tryin' to cover up her pardner's doin's as the wives of drunkards will, and tryin' to keep her children from follerin' their pa's dretful example, and then after he'd jest killed her with these doin's he rared up this great monument as a conscience soother.
His vest, and pantaloons, and coat wuz jest soaked with it; so's when he went after help they called him an old soaker, and said if he'd been sober the tent wouldn't have broke loose. They scorfed at him fearful, and wouldn't do a thing to help him. He told 'em he wuz a strict tetoteler, and hadn't drinked a drop for over forty years. And they said, "Git out, you wretched old sot!
He was dry; it tasted sweet, and he drinked, nat'rally." "Who gave him the whiskey?" "I didn't notice, particularly," said Seth. His accomplices were summoned, the quartermaster was notified, and the affair was still further investigated.
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