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Updated: June 28, 2025
These best of friends spent an hour and a half daily, at luncheon, "picking" on each other, telling tales on each other, eternally "joshing" for the edification of a coterie of their lumber and shipping friends who always lunched in a private dining room at the Commercial Club and who were known within that organization as the Bilgewater Club.
Their decks are swarming with men, and thus there will be more certainty that our shot will take effect. Remember, too, that we are all sailors, accustomed from our cradles to the ocean; while yonder Spaniards are mainly soldiers and landsmen, qualmish at the smell of bilgewater, and sickening at the roll of the waves.
But by and by the king tripped and fell overboard, and after that they took a rest, and had a talk about all kinds of adventures they'd had in other times along the river. After dinner the duke says: "Well, Capet, we'll want to make this a first-class show, you know, so I guess we'll add a little more to it. We want a little something to answer encores with, anyway." "What's onkores, Bilgewater?"
J. Augustus Redell, like Oliver Twist, desired more. His triumph over Cappy in the wheat deal merely whetted his desire for more of the Ricks blood, and in the end the ingenious rascal evolved a plan for making Cappy the laughing stock of the Bilgewater Club for a month of Sundays. Cappy Ricks entered his office at the unheard-of hour of eight- thirty.
Louis, the plaint of the peach pessimist from Pompton, N. J., the regular visit of the tame wild goose with a broken leg to the pond near Bilgewater Junction, the base attempt of the Drug Trust to boost the price of quinine foiled in the House by Congressman Jinks, the first tall poplar struck by lightning and the usual stunned picknickers who had taken refuge, the first crack of the ice jam in the Allegheny River, the finding of a violet in its mossy bed by the correspondent at Round Corners these are the advance signs of the burgeoning season that are wired into the wise city, while the farmer sees nothing but winter upon his dreary fields.
The king kind of ruffles up, and says: "Looky here, Bilgewater, what'r you referrin' to?" The duke says, pretty brisk: "When it comes to that, maybe you'll let me ask, what was YOU referring to?" "Shucks!" says the king, very sarcastic; "but I don't know maybe you was asleep, and didn't know what you was about."
I can't imitate him, and so I ain't a-going to try to; but he really done it pretty good. Then he says: "How are you on the deef and dumb, Bilgewater?" The duke said, leave him alone for that; said he had played a deef and dumb person on the histronic boards. So then they waited for a steamboat.
And he turned toward the entrance to the Merchants' Exchange, being minded to enter a telephone booth and notify the Bilgewater Club he would not be present that day. As he walked through the gate into the Exchange, however, he was accosted by a heavy, florid-faced man carrying a thick woolen watch coat over his arm.
Their decks are swarming with men, and thus there will be more certainty that our shot will take effect. Remember, too, that we are all sailors, accustomed from our cradles to the ocean; while yonder Spaniards are mainly soldiers and landsmen, qualmish at the smell of bilgewater, and sickening at the roll of the waves.
The burning dust strangled their raucous voices in their throats. A frightful sadness took possession of me. "When the diligence had left this fearful nightmare behind, I regained my self-control. "'Further, much further South, I exclaimed to myself, 'to the places untouched by this miserable bilgewater of civilization.
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