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Updated: May 28, 2025
Once upon a time people believed that the barnacles which are found attached to ships' bottoms, or pieces of timber long floating on the ocean, turned into geese, and the barnacle-goose was so called because it was supposed to have its origin in that common mollusc, the barnacle."
Came back to our Department, and Pitched into me. Look here. You never saw such a fellow. 'What did he want? 'Ecod, sir, returned Young Barnacle, 'he said he wanted to know, you know! Pervaded our Department without an appointment and said he wanted to know!
He had punished me in his own whimsical fashion at the breakfast table, for, at the very moment he was harrowing up my soul by reading the extracts from the Rivermouth Barnacle, he not only knew all about the bonfire, but had paid Ezra Wingate his three dollars. Such was the duplicity of that aged impostor.
The result of these exertions was that when the door opened half a minute later the office was, to all appearance, as quiet as usual. To our surprise, the comer was not Mr Barnacle, who usually arrived first, but Mr Merrett, who on other days hardly ever put in an appearance till an hour later. What was the reason of this reversal of the order of things we could not say, and did not much care.
At sunset one night Diane paid her toll at a Lilliputian house built like an architectural barnacle on to the end of a covered bridge, and with a rumble of boards wound slowly through the dusty, twilight tunnel into Pennsylvania.
Mr Barnacle had always had the reputation of being the sterner of the two partners, and now, as he abruptly joined in the conversation, I felt as if it boded very little good for me. "One moment," said he to Mr Merrett; "there are a few more questions we should ask, I think. Batchelor, you are doing yourself no good by this noise," he added, turning to me. He was right, and I saw it.
"The description," said the detective, "tallies exactly with that given at the bank of the person who presented the cheque." "Do you know his writing?" "I know what I believe to be his writing," said I. "Is that it?" inquired Mr Barnacle, showing me an envelope addressed to Hawkesbury. "No, that is not the handwriting I believe to be his." "Is that?" showing another. "No." "Is that?"
"No, that's my 'barnacle. And what do you call these?" said he pointing to his pantaloons. "Breeches or trousers, or whatever you please, sir." "You must call them 'squibs and crackers. And what would you call her?" pointing to the cat. "Cat or kit, or whatever you please, sir." "You must call her 'white-faced simminy. And this now," showing the fire, "what would you call this?"
'Be so good as to give that card to Mr Tite Barnacle, and to say that I have just now seen the younger Mr Barnacle, who recommended me to call here. It required some judgment to do it without butting the inner hall-door open, and in the consequent mental confusion and physical darkness slipping down the kitchen stairs. The visitor, however, brought himself up safely on the door-mat.
With which the stately youth marched on, his nose higher in the air than ever. I was not greatly reassured by this first introduction, but for the time being I was too intent on reaching Merrett, Barnacle, and Company's in good time to think of much beside. Fortunately my fellow-lodger's direction was correct, and in a few minutes I found myself standing on familiar ground in Hawk Street.
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