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Updated: June 13, 2025
Charley arrived under escort of the barge-woman, a red handkerchief on his head in lieu of his trencher, which, you know, he lost that night," added Hamish, laughing.
But you know what girls are, ma'am! Nasty little hussies, that's what I call 'em!" "So do I, too," said the barge-woman with great heartiness. "But I dare say you set yours to rights, the idle trollops! And are you very fond of washing?" "I love it," said Toad. "I simply dote on it. Never so happy as when I've got both arms in the wash-tub. But, then, it comes so easy to me! No trouble at all!
He rose to the surface spluttering, and when he had wiped the duck-weed out of his eyes the first thing he saw was the fat barge-woman looking back at him over the stern of the retreating barge and laughing; and he vowed, as he coughed and choked, to be even with her.
A real pleasure, I assure you, ma'am! 'What a bit of luck, meeting you! observed the barge-woman, thoughtfully. 'A regular piece of good fortune for both of us! 'Why, what do you mean? asked Toad, nervously. 'Well, look at me, now, replied the barge-woman.
"Where might your married daughter be living, ma'am?" asked the barge-woman. "She lives near to the river, ma'am," replied Toad. "Close to a fine house called Toad Hall, that's somewheres hereabouts in these parts. Perhaps you may have heard of it." "Toad Hall? Why, I'm going that way myself," replied the barge-woman.
But you know what GIRLS are, ma'am! Nasty little hussies, that's what I call 'em! 'So do I, too, said the barge-woman with great heartiness. 'But I dare say you set yours to rights, the idle trollops! And are you very fond of washing? 'I love it, said Toad. 'I simply dote on it. Never so happy as when I've got both arms in the wash-tub. But, then, it comes so easy to me! No trouble at all!
Under severe compulsion from the Badger, even the barge-woman was, with some trouble, sought out and the value of her horse discreetly made good to her; though Toad kicked terribly at this, holding himself to be an instrument of Fate, sent to punish fat women with mottled arms who couldn't tell a real gentleman when they saw one.
I might spoil your things, or not do 'em as you like. I'm more used to gentlemen's things myself. It's my special line. 'Let you steer? replied the barge-woman, laughing. 'It takes some practice to steer a barge properly. Besides, it's dull work, and I want you to be happy. No, you shall do the washing you are so fond of, and I'll stick to the steering that I understand.
Once he looked back, and saw that the barge had run aground on the other side of the canal, and the barge-woman was gesticulating wildly and shouting, "Stop, stop, stop!" "I've heard that song before," said Toad, laughing, as he continued to spur his steed onward in its wild career.
But meantime, how am I to get on with my washing? 'O, never mind about the washing, said Toad, not liking the subject. 'Try and fix your mind on that rabbit. A nice fat young rabbit, I'll be bound. Got any onions? 'I can't fix my mind on anything but my washing, said the barge-woman, 'and I wonder you can be talking of rabbits, with such a joyful prospect before you.
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