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"I say, Bill," remarked one of the couple who held Jem Hogg's lines, "Jem seems to be doin' somethin' uncommon queer he's either got hold of a conger-eel by the tail, or he's amoosin himself by dancin' a hornpipe." "Why, boys," answered Bill, who was one of the attendants on Edgar, "I do believe Mr Berrington has got hold o' somethin' o' the same sort.
"I got good cause to know Bert Mabyn, too," continued old Tom innocently; while the other two listened still as mice, and apprehensive of disclosures to be made. "But that's all past. I don't bear him no ill-will now. He's a cur'us chap, a little teched I guess; but as pleasant a spoken and amoosin' a feller as another feller could want to have with him on the road! Want to hear about him?"
"Ay, oh, I d'na kin, moderate, moderate," said Sam'l, in high delight. "I saw ye," said Eppie, speaking with a wire in her mouth, "gae'in on terr'ble wi' Mysy Haggart at the pump last Saturday." "We was juist amoosin' oorsels," said Sam'l, "It'll be nae amoosement to Mysy," said Eppie, "gin ye brak her heart." "Losh, Eppie," said Sam'l, "I didna think o' that."
Shore! it's the rowels; they oughter be about the size an' shape of a mornin' star, them rowels had. Then a gent might hope for action. An' whyever don't you-all wear leather chapps that a-way, instead of them jimcrow boots an' trousers? They're plumb amoosin', them garments be.
"It is so hard to explain," she said. "Things that one hardly sees for oneself. Sometimes it seems one cannot help oneself. You can't choose. You are taken...." She seemed about to say something more, and stopped and bit her lip. In another moment I was standing up, and the Fürstin was calling to us across ten feet of space. "Such amoosin' little toyshops. We've got a heap of things.
"Well, I dessay it would be amoosin'; yes, I'll go, Bob, if father's better." Accordingly, much to Will Garvie's disappointment it was arranged that Mrs Marrot was to accompany him and Bob to the great railway "Works" on the following day.
Artemus Ward's reports of his own conversations with the mighty of the earth were made highly ludicrous by the homely want of self-consciousness, displayed by the owner of the Kangaroo, that "amoosin' little cuss," and of the "two moral B'ars." But it is vain to attempt to analyze the fun of Artemus Ward. Why did he make some people laugh till they cried, while others were all untouched?
"Ay, oh, I d'na kin, moderate, moderate," said Sam'l, in high delight. "I saw ye," said Eppie, speaking with a wire in her mouth, "gae'in on terr'ble wi Mysy Haggart at the pump last Saturday." "We was juist amoosin' oorsels," said Sam'l. "It'll be nae amoosement to Mysy," said Eppie, "gin ye brak her heart." "Losh, Eppie," said Sam'l, "I didna think o' that."
"'O-rrr righ'! says he; 'Tooty-sweet. I lost a good deal of patience on the spot. You see, it seemed like he was tryin' to be entertaining. I say, by way of an amoosin' remark, that I'm goin' to play a tune on that tin-horn, and he gayly tells me to toot sweet! Well, I don't want to harrow your feelin's.
I stood starin' from my hands to her about a minit, and then she bust out a-laughin', and I bust out a-laughin' too! "How shaller you be!" said she. "It's duced amoosin'," said I. "Who be you?" said she. "Artemus Ward, the great lecterer on 'Women's Rites and Mormons," said I. At this she seemed mighty tickled. "I heerd you speak on those momentous subjects in Liverpool," said she.
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