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Updated: June 23, 2025
"Dubia plus torquent mala." In events I carry myself like a man; in conduct, like a child. The fear of the fall more fevers me than the fall itself. The game is not worth the candle. The covetous man fares worse with his passion than the poor, and the jealous man than the cuckold; and a man ofttimes loses more by defending his vineyard than if he gave it up.
He believes it to be but a vulgar error and no such disparagement as the world commonly imagines to be a cuckold; for man, being the epitomy and representation of all creatures, cannot be said to be perfect while he wants that badge and character which so many several species wear both for their defence and ornament.
By cheromancy, as the bean is found in the cake at the Epiphany vigil. By anthropomancy, practised by the Roman Emperor Heliogabalus. It is somewhat irksome, but thou wilt endure it well enough, seeing thou art destinated to be a cuckold. By a sibylline stichomancy. By onomatomancy. How do they call thee? Chaw-turd, quoth Panurge. Or yet by alectryomancy.
The baron observed that the boy's remark was good in this way: that Hope is a person who comes to bed with us when the realities of life are out of the way. "Is a cuckold made in the image of God?" asked the Burgundian. "No," said the Parisian, "because God was wise in this respect, that he took no wife; therefore is He happy through all eternity."
To my sense and meaning, quoth Pantagruel, if I have skill or knowledge in the art of divination by dreams, your wife will not really, and to the outward appearance of the world, plant or set horns, and stick them fast in your forehead, after a visible manner, as satyrs use to wear and carry them; but she will be so far from preserving herself loyal in the discharge and observance of a conjugal duty, that, on the contrary, she will violate her plighted faith, break her marriage-oath, infringe all matrimonial ties, prostitute her body to the dalliance of other men, and so make you a cuckold.
"Stop a moment!" interrupted my uncle, who wished to pursue his argument. "I, whom you see here, have also had the honour of being made a cuckold, as they say in Molière. You are acquainted with Molière, I dare say?" "I am; go on!" said the lieutenant, who had made up his mind to restrain himself while my uncle was developing his explanations.
Yet, what is this practice of exhibiting a cuckold in a ridiculous point of view, but an apology for adultery, as if it was intended to teach women that their charms are not formed for the possession of one man only?
What, because I cannot simper, look demure, and justify my Honour, when none questions it? Cry fie, and out upon the naughty Women, Because they please themselves and so wou'd I. Sir Cau. How, wou'd, what cuckold me? L. Ful. Yes, if it pleas'd me better than Vertue, Sir. But I'll not change my Freedom and my Humour, To purchase the dull Fame of being honest. Sir Cau. Ay, but the World, the World
I should almost believe that the Duke's mistress has given him a philtre, as Neidschin did to the Elector of Saxony. When he does not see her, it is said he perspires copiously at the head, and, in order that the cuckold of a husband may say nothing about the affair, the Duke suffers him to do whatever he pleases.
My friend, you shall not be a cuckold, if it please God, nor shall we need to despair of the knowledge of his good will and pleasure herein, as if it were such an abstruse and mysteriously hidden secret that for the clear understanding thereof it were necessary to consult with those of his celestial privy council, or expressly make a voyage unto the empyrean chamber where order is given for the effectuating of his most holy pleasures.
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