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'I have a very high opinion of the Territorials myself, said Mr. Wontner above a glass of sherry. Here The Infant suggested changing, and Ipps, before whom no human passion can assert itself, led Mr. Wontner away. 'Why the devil did you tell him I was on the Bench? said Infant wrathfully to me. 'You know I ain't now. Why didn't he stay in his father's office? He's a raging blight!
Wontner largely to Stalky, as we neared the suburbs of Ash, 'you have a good deal of practical joking on the Stock Exchange, haven't you? 'And when were you on the Stock Exchange, Uncle Leonard? piped Bobby, while Eames laid his sobbing head on my shoulder. 'I'm sorry, said Stalky, 'but the fact is, I command a regiment myself when I'm at home. Your Colonel knows me, I think. He gave his name.
We packed into the car, bearing our sheaves with us, and for half an hour, as the cool night-air fanned his thoughtful brow, Mr. Wontner was quite abreast of himself. Though he said nothing unworthy, he triumphed and trumpeted a little loudly over the sacks.
I sat between them on the back seat, and applauded him servilely till he reminded me that what I had seen and what he had said was not for publication. I hinted, while the boys plunged with joy inside their trappings, that this might be a matter for arrangement. 'Then a sovereign shan't part us, said Mr. Wontner cheerily, and both boys fell into lively hysterics.
'Two to one is quite fair. But the boys hardly grunted as Mr. Wontner roped first one and then the other. Even when they were slid into the sacks they only mumbled, with rolling heads, through sticky lips, and snored on. 'Port? said Mr. Wontner virtuously. 'Nervous exhaustion. They aren't much more than kids, after all. What's next? said Stalky. 'I want to take 'em away with me, please.
'Who's scored now? And he sat upon them. The tension broke in a storm of laughter, led, I think, by Ipps. 'Asinine absolutely asinine! said Mr. Wontner, with folded arms from his lively chair. But he drank in the flattery and the fellowship of it all with quite a brainless grin, as we rolled and stamped round him, and wiped the tears from our cheeks. 'Hang it! said Bobby Trivett.
Mr. Wontner seemed to have heard of it. We had to pick Eames off the floor, where he had cast himself from excess of delight. 'Oh, Heavens! said Mr. Wontner after a long pause. 'What have I done? What haven't I done? We felt the temperature in the car rise as he blushed. 'You didn't talk tactics, Clausewitz? said Bobby. 'Oh, say it wasn't tactics, darling! 'It was, said Wontner.
'I didn't know that I was dealing with a reporter' said Mr. Wontner. We were all halted outside a shut door. Ipps had followed us. 'But surely you want it in the papers, don't you? I urged. 'With a scandal like this, one couldn't, in justice to the democracy, be exclusive. We'd syndicate it here and in the United States. I helped you out of the sack, if you remember.
'You've chewed the string so I can't find the knot, I said as I worked with trembling fingers at the cater-pillar's throat. Something untied itself, and Mr. Wontner wriggled out, collarless, tieless, his coat split half down his back, his waistcoat unbuttoned, his watch-chain snapped, his trousers rucked well above the knees.
Wontner in an unguarded whisper. 'He isn't dressed for one thing. Bobby and Eames wriggled round to look at the reporter, began a joyous bellow, and suddenly stopped. 'What's the matter? said Wontner with suspicion. 'Nothing, said Bobby. 'I die happy, Clausewitz. Take me up tenderly.
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