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Read the first part of the Peytel act of accusation; it is as turgid and declamatory as a bad romance; and as inflated as a newspaper document, by an unlimited penny-a-liner: "The department of the Ain is in a dreadful state of excitement; the inhabitants of Belley come trooping from their beds, and what a sight do they behold; a young woman at the bottom of a carriage, toute ruisselante, just out of a river; her garments, in spite of the cold and rain, raised, so as to leave the upper part of her knees entirely exposed, at which all the beholders were affected, and cried, that the FIRST DUTY was to cover her from the cold."
In one word, Jools de Chacabac was a penny-a-liner. "I will go see with my own I's," he said, "that infimus hiland of which the innabitants are shopkeepers, gorged with roast beef and treason.
Lord Ellerslie scarcely approximates to my ideals of a son-in-law. This is the work of some contemptible penny-a-liner with a superfluity of space to fill; it is not worth refuting, dear; women of our station are always exposed to these petty annoyances and this may have been written with the very object of inciting our space-filling denial. Don't be unduly exercised over such a trifle."
He is a music master, or a penny-a-liner, or a third-rate artist. Dn his good looks!" Mr. Giovanelli had certainly a very pretty face; but Winterbourne felt a superior indignation at his own lovely fellow countrywoman's not knowing the difference between a spurious gentleman and a real one. Giovanelli chattered and jested and made himself wonderfully agreeable.
The barrister read the paragraph aloud. "It is casuistic," he commented, "but that defect is pardonable. After all, it is not absolutely mendacious, like a War Office telegram. Winter, go and bring joy to the heart of some penny-a-liner by giving him that item.
"That would be just as efficacious," said Sidney admiringly. "More efficacious," said Percy Saville, unsuspiciously. "A preacher speaks with authority, but this penny-a-liner " "With truth?" queried Sidney. Saville stopped, disgusted, and the hostess answered Sidney half-coaxingly. "Oh, I am sure you can't think that. The book is so one-sided.
Before proceeding to ravish the eyes and cars of the pleasure-loving population of the Kaiser-Stadt, la belle Sendel is off to the baths, under the protecting wing of the watchful guardian who has presided at all her theatrical triumphs." "Clear enough, I think," said Van, when I raised my eyes from the protracted periods of the penny-a-liner.
Upon seeing this I fell into a great rage, without exactly knowing why. "This thing," I exclaimed, "is a contemptible falsehood a poor hoax the lees of the invention of some pitiable penny-a-liner of some wretched concoctor of accidents in Cocaigne. For my own part, I intend to believe nothing henceforward that has anything of the 'singular' about it."
The workman sold his tools, bought a spade and a pickax, and fled to the gold; the lawyer flung down his parchment and off to the gold; the penny-a-liner his brass pen and off to a greater wonder than he had ever fabricated; the schoolmaster to whom little boys were puzzling out Quid non mortalia pectora cogis Auri sacra fames
I don't myself much mind what morals a man teaches, so long as he preserves the morality of beautiful form, but at the rate we are now going, literature seems likely to become a series of causes célèbres chronicled in the language of the penny-a-liner. And over and above this is the dirty habit, growing upon many able men, of examining their secretions, always an evident sign of hypochondria.
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