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Updated: June 27, 2025
"Now, who have been a telling you lies?" inquired Maxley severely. "My missus, for a farthing. I'm not a thousand-pound man; I'm a nine-hundred-pound man; and it's all safe at Hardie's." Here he went from his roar to his whisper, "I don't hold with Lunnon banks; they be like my missus's eggs: all one outside, and the rotten ones only known by breaking.
Such is human nature in general, and Maxley's in particular, that the L. 900 in pocket seemed small, and the 30s. in jeopardy large. "I can't afford to go with the creditors," argued Maxley: "Dividend on 30s.! Why, that will be about thirty pence: the change for a hard* half-crown. *I.e. a half-crown in one piece. He stuck his spade in the soil and made for his debtor's house.
Maxley was puzzled for a moment, then opened his mouth from ear to ear in a guffaw that made the glasses ring. His humour was perverse. He was wit-proof and fun-proof; but at a feeble jest would sometimes roar like a lion inflated with laughing-gas. Laughed he ever so loud and long, he always ended abruptly and without gradation his laugh was a clean spadeful dug out of Merriment.
But Maxley stretched his long limbs, and caught him in two strides, and griped his shoulder without ceremony. "Be you mad?" said he sternly. "No, but I begin to think you are." "That is to be seen," said Maxley gravely. "Before I lets you go, you must tell me whether you be jesting, or whether you have really been so simple as to drop fourteen thousand pounds at Hardie's?"
There was an inquest next day, followed in due course by a public trial of James Maxley. But these are matters which, though rather curious and interesting, must be omitted, or touched hereafter and briefly. The effect of Jane's death on Richard Hardie was deplorable. He saw the hand of Heaven; but did not bow to it: so it filled him with rage, rebellion, and despair.
It was Alfred Hardie, who had stolen on him like a cat. "I'm laad," thought Maxley. "Maxley, old fellow," said Alfred, in a voice as coaxing as a woman's, "are you in a good humour?" "Well, Master, Halfred, sight of you mostly puts me in one, especially after that there strychnine job."
The young gentleman thanked him graciously, and said kindly to Maxley, "Get that made up here's a guinea and I'll send somebody to see how you are to-morrow." The poor man took the guinea, and the prescription, and his head drooped again, and he slouched away. Dr.
"Why, they are only fish," said he; "I was in hopes they were pashints." He accepted the gudgeons, and inquired how Maxley got poisoned. It came out that Mrs.
Not as I have ought to say again the pair; they keep their turf tidyish and pay ready money and a few flowers in their pots; but the rest may shift for itself. Ye see, Master Alfred," explained Maxley, wagging his head wisely, "nobody's pride can be everywhere. Now theirs is in-a-doors; their with-drawing-room it's like the Queen's palace, my missus tells me; she is wrapped up in 'em, ye know.
"If you please, ma'am, there's half a guinea for you for not being such an' ijjit as the rest of the world, especially the Dockers." And he jerked her half a sovereign. A stupor fell on the assembly. They awoke from it to examine the coin, and see if it was real, or only yellow air. Maxley came to and gave a sigh of relief.
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