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Updated: June 22, 2025
It was well known that Yorick had never a good opinion of the treatise which Phutatorius had wrote de Concubinis retinendis, as a thing which he feared had done hurt in the world and 'twas easily found out, that there was a mystical meaning in Yorick's prank and that his chucking the chesnut hot into Phutatorius's... ..., was a sarcastical fling at his book the doctrines of which, they said, had enflamed many an honest man in the same place.
Mr Norris the son said nothing, but he made a wry face, and dusted his fingers as Hamlet might after getting rid of Yorick's skull; just as though he had that moment touched a negro, and some of the black had come off upon his hands.
It was, to say the least of it, most unbecoming in a man of Sterne's age and profession; and when it is added that Yorick's attentions to Eliza were paid in so open a fashion as to be brought by gossip to the ears of his neglected wife, then living many hundred miles away from him, its highly reprehensible character seems manifest enough in all ways.
At length he draws forth the dust-tenanted skull, coated on the outer surface with greasy mould. "There!" he says, with an unrestrained exclamation of joy, holding up the wasting bone, "this was in its time poor Yorick's skull. It was such a skull, when Yorick lived! And the old man shakes his head, mutters inarticulately, and weeps with the simplicity of a child.
Yes, young man, presented to my ancestors by the elder Stuarts, and on that account worth seven skulls, or more." "One Yorick's skull," is written on the paper, upon which the old man presses firmly his finger. He has not opened, he adds, this box for more than twelve long years. Next he drags forth a military cloak of great weight and dimensions.
Can the reader believe, that this sermon of Yorick's was preached at an assize, in the cathedral of York, before a thousand witnesses, ready to give oath of it, by a certain prebendary of that church, and actually printed by him when he had done, and within so short a space as two years and three months after Yorick's death?
That the governor of Dendermond paid his obsequies all military honours, and that Yorick, not to be behind-hand paid him all ecclesiastic for he buried him in his chancel: And it appears likewise, he preached a funeral sermon over him I say it appears, for it was Yorick's custom, which I suppose a general one with those of his profession, on the first leaf of every sermon which he composed, to chronicle down the time, the place, and the occasion of its being preached: to this, he was ever wont to add some short comment or stricture upon the sermon itself, seldom, indeed, much to its credit: For instance, This sermon upon the Jewish dispensation I don't like it at all; Though I own there is a world of Water-Landish knowledge in it; but 'tis all tritical, and most tritically put together.
Yorick's, and from whom he was lineally descended, held a considerable post to the day of his death. Of what nature this considerable post was, this record saith not; it only adds, That, for near two centuries, it had been totally abolished, as altogether unnecessary, not only in that court, but in every other court of the Christian world.
Now, whether the idea of poor Yorick's skull was put out of the Count's mind by the reality of my own, or by what magic he could drop a period of seven or eight hundred years, makes nothing in this account; 'tis certain the French conceive better than they combine; I wonder at nothing in this world, and the less at this; inasmuch as one of the first of our own Church, for whose candour and paternal sentiments I have the highest veneration, fell into the same mistake in the very same case: "He could not bear," he said, "to look into the sermons wrote by the King of Denmark's jester."
Keepum hopes to continue the old man in prison, that he may succeed in breaking down the proud spirit of his daughter. The Commissioner listens attentively to the reading of the objections. The first sets forth that Mr. McArthur has a gold watch; the second, that he has a valuable breastpin, said to have been worn by Lord Cornwallis; and the third, that he has one Yorick's skull. All of these, Mr.
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