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'Ye drowsy man, ye'll be late f'r ye'er wurruk. 'Divvle th' bit iv coal I'll fetch, says Donahue. 'Go away an' lave me alone, he says. 'Ye're inthruptin' me dreams. 'What ails ye, man alive? says Mrs. Donahue. 'Get up. 'Go away, says Donahue, 'an lave me slumber, he says. 'Th' idee iv a couple iv big strong women like you makin' me wurruk f'r ye, he says.
She starts to wurruk right away an' what Hogan calls th' doctrine iv av'rages is always with thim that starts early an' makes manny plays. But th' Dhream iv Beauty figures out that she can wait an' take her pick an' 'tis not ontil she is bumpin' thirty that she wakes up with a scream to th' peril iv her position an' runs out an' pulls a man down fr'm th' top iv a bus.
"'Far be it fr'm me to suggist anny but peaceful measures, says Sir Alfred Milner, that's th' lad they have down in Africa, th' Injun agent, 'f'r th' English an' Dutch shud wurruk together like brothers f'r th' removal iv th' naygur popylation, he says, 'but, he says, 'as a brother I politely suggest to ye that if ye don't give us what we want we'll hand ye a fraternal punch! he says.
Christyan Bro-others! an' th' other says, 'Hit thim, saw thim, gnaw thim, chaw thim, Saint Aloysius! Well, afther awhile they got down to wurruk. 'Sivin, eighteen, two, four, says a la-ad. I've seen people go mad over figures durin' th' free silver campaign, but I niver see figures make a man want f'r to go out an' kill his fellow-men befure.
"How manny wives has this here man Roberts that's thryin' to break into Congress?" Mr. Dooley asked. "I dinnaw," said Mr. Hennessy; "I nivver heerd iv him." "I think it's three," said Mr. Dooley. "No wondher he needs wurruk an' is fightin' hard f'r th' job. I'm with him too, be hivens. Not that I'm be taste or inclination a marryin' man, Hinnissy. They may get me to th' altar some day.
'Where 'd ye wurruk last? 'Why, says th' Loot, 'I'm th' man that sunk th' ship, he says; 'an' I've been kissed be hundherds iv women at home, he says. 'Is that so? says Cousin George. 'Well, I don't b'lieve in sinkin' me own ship, he says. 'Whin I'm lookin' f'r a divarsion iv that kind, I sink somebody else's, he says. ''Tis cheaper.
'Tis worse thin that, Hinnissy, f'r whin they ar-re in th' city they seem to dislike their wurruk an' manny iv thim ar-re givin' up splindid jobs with good large families where they have no chanst to spind their salaries, if they dhraw thim, an' takin' places in shops, an' gettin' marrid an' adoptin' other devices that will give thim th' chanst f'r to wear out their good clothes.
Like as not a year fr'm now he'll be in jail, like Napoleon, th' impror iv th' Fr-rinch, was in his day, an' Mike, th' Burglar, an' other pathrites. That's what comes iv bein' a pathrite too long. 'Tis a good job, whin they'se nawthin' else to do; but 'tis not th' thing to wurruk overtime at.
Ye byes wont be scared of being lift to yersilves fur a few days?" he asked with so much earnestness that they hastened to assure him he need have no misgivings on that point. "We shall keep hard at it while you are away, but since Jeff is also absent we shall be lonely." "Luk fur me very soon. I'll advise Jiff to make ye an extra allowance for yer wurruk while him and me is doing nothing."
They're good readin'. Nawthin' cud be better f'r a man whin he's tired out afther a day's wurruk thin to go to his library an' take down wan iv th' gr-reat wurruks iv lithratchoor an' play a game iv dominos f'r th' dhrinks out iv it. Anny other kind iv r-readin', barrin' th' newspapers, which will niver hurt anny onedycated man, is desthructive iv morals.
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