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Updated: May 13, 2025
"I'm sure they'll make me very comfortable, ma'am. If they do the work, I won't raise no manner of objection." Zora, regarding the egoist with mingled admiration and vexedness, could only say, "Oh!" "I never raised no objection to his marriage from the first," said Wiggleswick. "Did he consult you about it?"
The goddess was angry at the slight cast on her by his secret marriage. And she was in California, a myriad of miles away. She could not have been more remote had she been in Saturn. When Emmy asked him whether he did not long for Wiggleswick and the studious calm of Nunsmere, he said, "No."
On her approach he wriggled to attention, and extinguishing the cigar by means of saliva and a horny thumb and forefinger, put the stump into his pocket. "Good morning, Wiggleswick," said Zora cheerfully. "Good morning, ma'am," said Wiggleswick. "You seem to be having a good time."
But Wiggleswick, bent, hoary, deaf, crabbed, evil old ruffian that he was, like most ex-prisoners instinctively obeyed the word of command, and meekly accepted Zora as his taskmistress. For Septimus began happy days wherein the clock was disregarded. The vague projects that had filled his head for the construction of a new type of quick-firing gun took definite shape.
He also formed a brotherly intimacy with a lame donkey belonging to the sexton, and used to feed him with pâté de foie gras sandwiches, specially prepared by Wiggleswick, until he was authoritatively informed that raw carrots would be more acceptable. To see the two of them side by side watching the ducks in the pond wag their tails was a touching spectacle.
"Wiggleswick likes it," said he. "And now he has the whole house to himself? I suppose he makes himself comfortable in your quarters and drinks your wine and smokes your cigars with his friends. Did you lock things up?" "Oh, yes, of course," said Septimus. "And where are the keys?" "Why Wiggleswick has them," he replied. Zora drew in her breath. "You don't know how angry you make me.
"Anyhow, it's true?" asked Zora, disregarding Wiggleswick. "Oh, yes! You see, my ungovernable temper " "Your what?" It was no use. On receiving the announcement she looked just as he had expected her to look. He tried to stammer out his catalogue of infamies, but failed. She burst out laughing, and Sypher, who knew all and was anxiously wondering how to save the situation, laughed too.
And as she passed by the offender she smiled down at her companion with all the sweetness of intimacy and asked him why he carried a revolver. She did not point the offender out, be it remarked, to the bloodthirsty Septimus. "It belongs to Wiggleswick," he replied in answer to her question. "I promised to take care of it for him." "What does Wiggleswick do when you are away?"
And, as for you, my poor Septimus, you want as much taking care of as I do." The depreciatory tone did not sting him as it would have done another man, for he knew his incapacity. He had also gone through the memory of Moses's rod the night before. "I wonder whether Wiggleswick could be of any use?" he said, more brightly. Emmy laughed dismally. Wiggleswick!
If ever I meet Wiggleswick " "Well?" "I'll talk to him," said Zora with a fine air of menace. She, on her side, gave him such of her confidences as were meet for masculine ears. Naturally she impressed upon him the fact that his sex was abhorrent to her in all its physical, moral, and spiritual manifestations. Septimus, on thinking the matter over, agreed with her.
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