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Updated: May 17, 2025
She wuz stayin' at a big tarven not so very fur from Miss Huff's, and said she'd brought her orto and shuffler with her from Chicago. Well, she bid us a tender adoo, sayin' the last thing "owe Revwah," or sunthin' like that and Josiah sez to me: "Who's she twittin' us on? I don't owe nobody by that name, nor never did, not a cent, I'm a man that pays my debts."
"Why last winter I had six of the relation on my side and on hisen, snowbound to our house for a week, and I thought I should go distracted tryin' to keep the house clean, and suit 'em all in vittles, and some on 'em jealous thinkin' I gin the others a better bed, and the other relation comin' in to see 'em and kinder disputin' and twittin' 'em as relation will, and kinder jealous of me because they wuz visitin' me instead of them, and my folks callin' me extravagant in vittles I had a dretful time.
The sullen roar of the wheels underneath me kep' kinder hunchin' me up every little while if I forgot myself for a minute, twittin' me that my pardner had let me go away from him; I almost thought I heard once or twice the echo, Grass Widder! soundin' out under the crunchin' roar and rattle of the wheels, but then I turned right over on my shelf and sez in my agony of sperit: Not that not grass.
I ain't goin' to have Bolton folks an' all on 'em down to the Centre twittin' us, nor twittin' Packer; he'll turn sour toward everybody the minute he does it. I know Packer; he's rough and ugly, but he ain't the worst man in town by a good sight. Anybody'd be all worked up to go through so much talk, and I'm kind o' 'fraid this minute his word's passed to Ferris to have them trees down.
"I was goin' to. I started, one afternoon. An' after I'd knocked, I heard him jawin'. Well! You never heard a man talk so in all your life. I never did, anyways! twittin' her with everything under the sun." "Nice for you," said Raven, "butting in on a row." "I didn't butt in," said Charlotte. "I turned round an' come straight home.
"I didn't know but it was willin' to be useful for once in its life." "Slur noted!" said Hiram, with acerbity. "But you can't expect us to pull you out of a hole that you've mismanaged yourself into. You needn't flare, now, Cap'n. It's been mismanaged, and that's the sentiment of the town. I ain't twittin' you because I've lost property. I'm talkin' as a friend."
"It's all love befo' marriage an' all shortenin' arterwards," observed Betsey Bottom, with scorn. "I've al'ays noticed in this world that the less men folks have to say for themselves the better case they make of it. When they've spent all thar time sence Adam tryin' to throw dust in the eyes of women, it would be better manners if they'd stop twittin' 'em because they'd succeeded."
But I knowed it wouldn't do any good to keep twittin' him of it. And then he went on to describe more fully the Exposition of Josiah Allen that he'd been plottin' for weeks and weeks. He said that he and uncle Sime had used up two hull pads of writin' paper at a cost of five cents each, plannin' and figurin'. But he didn't begrech the outlay, he said.
"Why don't you say jest what you mean, right out, Jennie Stebbins?" she demanded. "You are hintin' that Fanny and me never had no education, and twittin' us with it." "It wa'n't our fault," said Fanny, no less angrily. "No, it wa'n't our fault," assented Eva. "We had to quit school. Folks can live with empty heads, but they can't with empty stomachs. It had to be one or the other.
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