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Updated: May 6, 2025
No one knows and Wyndham is to be expelled. I joy much Riddell knoweth it. Telson telleth Parson that Riddell is gross expelling for Beamish's and Wyndham weepeth in private. I smile at the practice Mr Parrett bowleth me balls. I taketh them and am out." If Bosher could have seen the effect of this elegant extract upon the captain he would probably have "joyed" with infinite self-satisfaction.
"Not a bit of him!" says Telson, who has also artfully squeezed himself into the front rank hard by; "besides, he's a Limpet, and Limpets have no right to run as juniors." "What is a Limpet?" asks Captain Cusack of his son.
I'll write out part, old man." "Thanks, Telson, you're an awful brick. I suppose Riddell wouldn't think it wicked of you to write another fellow's impot, would he?" "I half fancy he would; but I won't tell him. Hullo! though, here comes Coates." A monitor wearing his "mortar-board" approached. "Where's your imposition, Parson?" he asked.
Everything seemed against him. He'd been beaten in the junior hundred yards yesterday, so had Telson. Just their luck. They'd run in every race for the last two years, and never won so much as a shilling penknife yet. What harm, Parson would like to know, was there in seeing a friend across the quad?
But to be thus invited to make excuses was an unexpected treat which these cunning juniors were quite sharp enough to jump at. "Oh, you know," began Telson, "it wasn't our fault. We were up-stream in the Ark, and meant to be back all right, only the schoolhouse boat overhauled us, and we had to race them a bit didn't we, you fellows?" "Rather," said Parson; "and a spanking race it was.
"Tell him it's jolly gross conduct," cried a voice at the door, followed immediately by Telson, who, contrary to all rules, had slipped across to pay a friendly visit. He was welcomed with the usual rejoicing, and duly installed at the festive board. "It's all right if I am caught," said he. "Gilks sent me a message to Wibberly, and I just dropped in here on the way.
Telson had no objection to this sentiment as long as no one presumed "to cheek the schoolhouse" in uttering it. Whenever that was done he insisted on his unalterable determination to fight the offender unless he swallowed his words, which the offender usually did. The tide was getting slack, and it was time for them to turn if they were to be in for "call-over."
"It's not you two, then?" whispered Telson across the bench to where Cusack and Pilbury sat in mutual perplexity. "Two things at least are comforting in what has passed," continued the doctor.
If that were so, Riddell considered it possible that, after their honest fashion, they might take upon themselves to give him a piece of their mind, which was exactly what he wanted. "The fact is," said Telson, "Parson and I both think he's down in the mouth." "Indeed?" asked the captain, busily buttering a fresh slice of toast. "Yes. Haven't you seen it?" asked Parson.
"Jolly right too," said Cusack, delighted to agree with his old enemy for once; "those schoolhouse cads are cheats, every one of them?" "All right!" exclaimed Telson jumping up; "I'll fight you, young Cusack, for that!" Cusack was somewhat taken aback by this unexpected outbreak, but was inclined, nevertheless, to accept the challenge. Parson, however, interfered peremptorily.
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