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Updated: June 29, 2025
Overtop, allow me to offer you some refreshment." Mrs. Slapman was in the act of handing a glass of champagne to the favored Overtop, when an unearthly shriek was heard, which startled the steadiest nerves. This shriek was repeated three times in quick succession, and seemed to come from the sidewalk in front of the house.
"Excuse the digression, madam," said Overtop, "but ought not these two gentlemen to change places in life? Is not the heavy one peculiarly adapted to the diving bell, and the light one to the balloon?" Mrs. Slapman smiled, and looked faintly surprised, as if the remark were unworthy of her guest.
Overtop was regarded with curiosity, as the reputed hero of the Slapman scandal. Matthew Maltboy was universally condemned as too fat, and, with that brief criticism, was dismissed. Miss Pillbody was pronounced "a little proud," because she stood straight, with shoulders thrown back, which was her usual attitude.
Slapman fainted this time in earnest. The gentlemen present, actors and audience, unanimously decided that the best thing for them to do, under all the circumstances, was to leave the premises. This they did as soon as they could, reserving all discussion of the painful event of the evening for the free air of the street. Thither they went, and experienced the greatest surprise of the evening.
Slapman, with a well-assumed appearance of levity, gave a grande soirée musicale et dramatique at her house, in honor of the event, at which Overtop was a favored guest. Mr.
Slapman went direct to Slapmanville, and raised the rent on all his tenants, turned a superannuated non-paying couple into the street, and took a general account of his property, to see how much he could sell out for, preparatory to leaving for Europe, and so dodging the payment of the alimony. The illustrated papers published two portraits one of an angel, the other of a demon. The angel was Mrs.
Chickson turned his eyes upward to the ceiling, and then downward to the floor, as if he were committing what he had heard to memory, and then said it was very curious, but he had thought of the same theme before, and was intending to write a poem on it next week. "Now, that's just like you, you provoking creature!" said Mrs. Slapman, tapping the poet playfully with her fan.
On the occasion of these antimatrimonial audiences, Mixer sat in the back room, grubbing among his dusty papers; while Samuel Goldfinch, Esq., in the front room, with shut doors, leaned back in his easy chair and surrendered himself to enjoyment. In the case of Slapman vs. Slapman, a great number of witnesses had been examined on each side.
Fayette Overtop was blessed with the thought, that in Mrs. Slapman he had found, at last, that rare bird for which he had patiently hunted through the valleys and uplands of society "a sensible woman."
The opening of the parlor door discovered a room full of men, who were sipping wine, eating cold fowl and confections, talking and laughing loudly with each other, or exchanging repartees with a lady who stood in the centre of the apartment and shed her light upon all. This lady was Mrs. Grazella Jigbee Slapman.
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