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Updated: May 24, 2025
So when Parson John is preachin' an' I can't altogether foller him, I kin pick up somethin' here an' thar which I do understand, an' them are the shavin's which I kin use, an' do use. Oh!
"Begorra, I'd loike to have a slap at 'em with a long thirty-two, or aven a blissid noine-pounder Armstrong," cried Tim Rooney, as vexed as "Old Jock" was at the result of this testing of the Silver Queen with her lighter heeled rivals to windward. "I'd soon knock 'em into shavin's, by the howly poker, I wud!"
Susie said she hadn't seen him since just after breakfast time, half past seven o'clock or so, and when she telephoned the Babbitt house it turned out he hadn't been there, neither. Had his breakfast and went out, he did, and that's all his step-ma knew about him. But Phineas, he. . . . Eh? Ain't that the bell? Customer, I presume likely. Want me to go see who 'tis, Shavin's Jed, I mean?"
'Tell 'em Shavin's Winslow's gone to the devil, he bellowed, 'and that I say they can go there too. And then Emma J. opened the door and 'twan't anybody askin' about you at all; 'twas the Baptist minister come callin'. I was drivin' past there just now and Emma J. came out to tell me about it. She wanted to know if you'd gone clear crazy instead of part way.
Er er Where is it, Phin?" Phineas burst out laughing. "'Where is it, Phin?" he repeated, mockingly. "By godfreys mighty, I believe you do know where 'tis, Shavin's! You ain't gettin' any of it, are you? You ain't dividin' up with the blasted jailbird?" Jed was very pale. His voice shook as he essayed to speak. "Wh-what jailbird?" he faltered. "What do you mean?
Is this perfectly clear?" Phineas did not answer the question directly. For a moment he stood there, his fists clenching and unclenching, and his eyes snapping. Then he turned away. "All right," he said, sullenly. "I hear what you say. Now I can go, I presume likely unless you've got some more lyin' and bullyin' to do. Get out of my way, Shavin's, you fool." But Grover had not finished with him.
Jed's pallor was, for the moment, succeeded by a vivid crimson. He stammered. Phineas burst into another scornful laugh. "Haw, haw, haw!" he crowed. "She lets him call her Ruth. Oh, my Lord A'mighty! Let's Shavin's Winslow call her that. Well, I guess I sized her up all right. She must be about on her brother's level. A thief and " "Shut up, Phin!" "Shut up? YOU tell me to shut up!" "Yes."
Instead he stood stock still, returning Phineas Babbitt's glare with a steady, unwinking gaze. It was the hardware dealer who spoke first. And that, by the way, was precisely what he had not meant to do. "Yes," he observed, with caustic sarcasm, "it's me. You needn't stand there blinkin' like a fool any longer, Shavin's. It's me." Jed set the lamp upon the table.
"Did I evah see her befo'?" questioned the Little Colonel. "Why, yes, the day we moved heah. Don't you know she came and stayed so long, and the rockah broke off the little white rockin'-chair when she sat down in it?" "Oh, now I know!" laughed the child. "She's the big fat one with curls hangin' round her yeahs like shavin's. I don't like her, Mom Beck.
But give you my word a cadaverous spectacle like that poor chap, bones stickin' out of his hide, and breathin' as if he was stuffed with dry shavin's, or husks like the Prodigal Son, gives me the downright horrors!"
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