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It's a fine thing if a man can't go out for 'arf a pint without coming home and finding all the riffraff of the neighbourhood in 'is bed." "'Ow's the pore back, Bill?" inquired Mr. Flynn, with tenderness. Mr. Scutts gurgled at him. "Outside!" he said as soon as he could get his breath. "Bill," said the voice of Mrs. Scutts, outside the door. "Halloa," growled her husband.

He placed a dangling hand about his neck and, staggering under the weight, reeled backwards supporting Mr. Scutts, whose other arm was round the neck of a third man. In a flash Mrs. Scutts was at the door. "Oh, Bill!" she gasped. "And by daylight, too!" Mr. Scutts raised his head sharply and his lips parted; then his head sank again, and he became a dead weight in the grasp of his assistants.

Scutts could think of a reply suitable for an invalid and, at the same time, bristling with virility. A sinful and foolish desire to leap out of bed and help Mr. Flynn downstairs made him more rubicund than ever. He sent for the club doctor next morning, and, pending his arrival, partook of a basin of arrowroot and drank a little beef-tea.

"And get a good night's rest," added the thoughtful Mr. Flynn. "If Bill's back is took bad in the night I'll look after it." Mr. Scutts turned a threatening face on him. "For two pins " he began. "For two pins I'll go back 'ome and stay there," said Mr. Flynn. He put one muscular leg out of bed, and then, at the earnest request of Mr. Scutts, put it back again.

"We have seen now all those who left their names and addresses on Monday afternoon, and I am glad to say that nobody was really hurt. Nobody." Mr. Scutts, in a faint voice, said he was glad to hear it. "Been a wonder if they had," said the other, cheerfully. "Why, even the paint wasn't knocked off the engine. The most serious damage appears to be two top-hats crushed and an umbrella broken."

Scutts remonstrated, but in vain, and at half-past six the invalid, with his cap over his eyes and a large scarf tied round the lower part of his face, listened for a moment at his front door and then disappeared in the fog. Left to herself, Mrs. Scutts returned to the bedroom and, poking the tiny fire into a blaze, sat and pondered over the willfulness of men.

He's got a healthy colour a very healthy colour." Mr. Scutts waited until he had left the house and then made a few remarks on the colour question that for impurity of English and strength of diction have probably never been surpassed.

Scutts, impelled by a maddened arm, burst into the room. "Your back!" she moaned. "It'll kill you Get back to bed." "I'm cured, lovey," said Mr. Flynn, simply. "His back is as strong as ever," said the doctor, giving it a thump. Mr. Flynn, who had taken his clothes from a chair and was hastily dressing himself, assented.

"We have seen now all those who left their names and addresses on Monday afternoon, and I am glad to say that nobody was really hurt. Nobody." Mr. Scutts, in a faint voice, said he was glad to hear it. "Been a wonder if they had," said the other, cheerfully. "Why, even the paint wasn't knocked off the engine. The most serious damage appears to be two top-hats crushed and an umbrella broken."

"But if you'll wait 'arf a tick I'll walk as far as the corner with you," he said, quickly. "I'd like to make sure it's all right." He paused at the foot of the stairs and, glancing up at the palid and murderous face of Mr. Scutts, which protruded from the back bedroom, smiled at him rapturously. Then, with a lordly air, he tossed him five pieces of gold.