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Updated: June 4, 2025
Havin' all kinds of hard words chucked at you `fools' and `idgits' and `jackasses' and when it comes to boots and hair-brushes, I says as it's rough enough; but when it's a soda-water bottle and a plate, I can't stand it, and I won't!" "What had you been doing to annoy my cousin?" "Nothin', S'Richard.
"But but I see you drownd yourself before my very eyes!" "No, you did not, or I shouldn't be standing here now!" "But but oh, lor'!" groaned Jerry, with his voice growing faint and piteous, "is is it really you S'Rich ?" "Silence! I'm Dick Smithson, now!" cried the young man fiercely. "But you was S'Richard," groaned Jerry, "before you come to life again!" "What nonsense are you talking now?"
"Can't I do nothing for you, S'Richard?" whispered Jerry. "I'd do anything for you, sir; indeed, I would." "Go to my cousin's room and wait till you can get some news. Jerry, if it comes to the worst, I shall go mad." The man looked at him compassionately, and then went out on tiptoe, to return after an interval to thrust in his head, which he gave a mournful shake, and then withdrew.
The candles had burned down very low, and two of his master's guests were standing at his side. "Let us out, my lad," said the elder of the two; and as soon as he had handed them their hats and coats, and closed the door, he gave his eyes a rub. "I wonder where S'Richard is?" he thought. "Why, I must have been asleep a good two hours. Has young Mark gone?"
"Well, S'Richard, not quite all; there's your cousin, sir Mr Mark, sir." "Well, what about him?" "Only this, S'Richard: if you'd speak to him, and tell him as servants ain't doormats, I should be greatly obliged." "What do you mean?" "Only this, S'Richard, as it's getting beyond bearing! I don't want to go complaining to Mr Draycott, sir, but there is bounds to everything!
But the owner of all sat intent upon the contrivance before him upon the table, and Jerry scratched his nose now with the edge of the clothes-brush. "Beg pardon, S'Richard " "What the dickens do you want now?" cried the young man, impatiently. "On'y wanted to 'mind you of what I said lars week, S'Richard." "Didn't I tell you to talk to me when I wasn't busy?"
"And he said, S'Richard, as you ought to be on the look-out." "Yes. Well?" "Well, S'Richard, that's it; I'm on the look-out." "What for, Jerry?" "To better myself, S'Richard.
If I lose it, you might find it. Perquisites eh, Jerry?" "There, S'Richard," said the man, flushing. "Now, ain't that as good as sayin' I'd steal a watch? I'd take my oath I never " "That will do, Jerry," said Sir Richard, sternly. "You needn't wait. Why can't you leave the fellow alone, Mark?"
"No, no! by blows." "Oh, I see, S'Richard." "I have often thought that more might be done, Jerry, in the way of obtaining musical notes." "Of course, S'Richard." "You see," said the young man, dreamily, "we produce them by vibration." "Yes, S'Richard, and whistling, and fiddling, and blowing trombones." "Exactly; that is all connected with vibration." "Oh, is it, sir?
Why not?" said the man, drawing himself up, and brushing the tuft of hair over the top of his forehead, so that it stood up fiercely, and gave his whole head some resemblance to the conventional naming shell of military ornamentation. "Of course, I couldn't think of a military eddication and going to a coach, S'Richard, and passing; but lots of chaps have risen from the ranks."
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