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Updated: May 9, 2025
There had been one quarter before now in his hand there were five shiny quarters! It was a wonderful trick! But now the strange man, Dr. Philemon Pipp, was speaking again. "Now that you all understand the trick," he declared, "I will pefohm another foh youah entahtainment." The funny thing about it was that no one understood it at all except the Toyman.
That's what the Red Indian with all the feathers said, and it sounded very impressive. As it was so hard for anyone who didn't know the real Indian language to understand, the man with the long hair and tall silk hat, this wise Dr. Philemon Pipp, explained it. "The noble red man, the last of his tribe, Chief-Afraid-of-a-Rat," said he, "is a great medicine man.
Philemon Pipp, and a big chart like those the teachers used in school. "Whew!" whistled Jehosophat, "look at that ole bag of bones!" For on that chart was a big picture of a skeleton, and, by the side of the skeleton, other pictures, of a man with his skin taken off, which showed his bones, and his muscles, and all his insides very prettily painted in blue and yellow and red.
But, instead, of Jehosophat giving him away, it seemed Dr. Pipp was going to give something away himself, for he was saying in his speech, "Because I was once born in your beautiful ceety, I will give away for this night only a whole bottle of this magic medicine for the trifling sum of fifty cents!"
"Toyman," he said, "buy a bottle, an' it will cure you of that bad rheumatism." "No," replied the Toyman, "that won't cure even chilblains. That old codger's not telling the truth. And the people are fools to believe him." But all this time Dr. Pipp was handing out the bottles with one hand, and collecting the fifty-cent pieces with the other, and the Red Indian was singing his funny song,
And one by one the silly people went down in their pockets, and brought up their fifty-cent pieces, and handed them up to the man on the wagon. You see, every one must have had at least one of the kinds of pains and aches Dr. Pipp talked about, for he mentioned every one in the world. Marmaduke thought that black medicine would be fine for the Toyman.
That was very generous, thought the boys, and they said so to the Toyman, but again he told them to "wait an' see." And then Dr. Philemon Pipp turned to the crowd of men and boys and hollered real loud like the minister at camp-meeting, "Who'll be the first to be cuhed? Who'll be the first to be happy again?"
Now the Toyman was forever saying funny and surprising things, but he never said anything funnier and more surprising in his life than what he told that patent-medicine man. "No, thank you, Mr. Steve Jorkins" that's just what he called him, not Dr. Pipp at all "that medicine of yours isn't magic. It wouldn't even cure a chicken of the pip."
"Why, to smash all those big bottles and waste all that lovely licorice water." But he soon forgot all about the bottles and the licorice water, and the bad Doctor Pipp with the tall hat and the fur collar, and the Red Indian, too, for, as they rode along by the River, the Moon was up, and seemed to be riding along with them never getting ahead or behind, just keeping even with Hal the Red Roan.
"Ging goo, ging goo, Hunk-a-tin, hunk-a-tin, hunk-a-tin, Geegry goo, geegry goo, All-a-man lissen!" And the light nickered on the funny pictures of the skeleton and the man with his skin off, and then on Dr. Philemon Pipp with his long black hair and tall silk hat, and on the feathers of the Red Indian, as he danced up and down singing that funny song. At last something stranger still happened.
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