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He seemed to be sitting on hot coals; tried to speak, but did not, and laughed nervously. Solomin, on the other hand, seemed a little bored, but looked quite at home and utterly independent of what was going on around him. "We must certainly ask advice of this man," Mariana thought, "he is sure to tell us something useful." It was she who had sent Nejdanov to him after dinner.
And what's the use of deceiving oneself? No I don't believe in the cause itself. And you, Mariana, do you believe in it?" Mariana sat up straight and raised her head. "Yes, I do, Alexai. I believe in it with all the strength of my soul, and will devote my whole life to it, to the last breath!" Nejdanov turned towards her and looked at her enviously, with a tender light in his eyes.
And while the latter was reading it carefully, his eyes moving from line to line, Nejdanov sat watching him. Solomin was near the window and the sun, already low in the horizon, was shining full on his tanned face covered with perspiration, on his fair hair covered with dust, making it sparkle like a mass of gold.
Nejdanov, who for a long time had not been inside a church, stood in a corner amidst the peasant women, who kept casting sidelong glances at him in between crossing themselves, bowing piously to the ground, and wiping their babies' noses.
Under the influence of such hostile and irritable sensations, the statesman en herbe was even more unsympathetic and distant in his intercourse with Nejdanov. He told Kolia that he need not take lessons that day and that he must try to be more independent in future. He did not, however, dismiss the tutor himself as the latter had expected, but continued to ignore him.
However, I think she's given me up as a bad job. I'm quite a black sheep in her eyes." Mariana pronounced the last words with such a bright joyful expression that Nejdanov could not help laughing as he looked at her and repeating, "black sheep!" "She is awfully hurt," Mariana went on, "that you are not at her feet. But that is nothing. The most important thing is that I can't stay here any longer.
Before dinner she returned to her own rooms and soon afterwards Nejdanov arrived. He came in tired and covered with dust and dropped on to the sofa. She immediately sat down beside him. "Well, tell me what happened." "You remember the two lines," he responded in a weary voice: "It would have been so funny Were it not so sad." "Do you remember?" "Of course I do."
Why had everyone forsaken her? EVERYONE. This stout woman had called her a bird, a beauty... why not quite plainly, a doll? And why did Nejdanov not go alone, but with Pavel? It's just as if he needed someone to look after him! And what are really Solomin's convictions? It's quite clear that he's not a revolutionist! And could any one really think that he does not treat the whole thing seriously?
Paklin threw up his arms in despair. "That's just where we are mistaken, Alexai Dmitritch! We never know anyone. We want to do things, to turn the whole world upside down, and are living outside this very world, amidst two or three friends, jostling each other in our narrow little circle! "Excuse me," Nejdanov put in. "I don't think that is quite true.
"Well, what's the difficulty? "Why, money, of course." Nejdanov got up from the bed and walked over to the window. "How much do you want?" "Not less than fifty roubles." Nejdanov was silent. "I have no money just now," he whispered at last, drumming his fingers on the window pane, "but I could get some. Have you got the letter?" "Yes, it... that is... certainly..."
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