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Updated: June 22, 2025
What think you now of Mistris Dorothy? Un. A great deale better than I did; and yet I have lov'd her this halfe yeare in a kind of way. O' my conscience why may not I marry her? Ri. This Jewell was sent by her mother to her. Un. Deere Uncle conseale till I have talk'd with her. Oh for some witchcraft to make all sure. Ri. I like this well; shees here. Enter Dorothy. Un.
Yes, saith Mistris Consent to all, and my advice is then to take a little horn, with a sheeps udder, & lay that upon the Tipples, for that defends them, and occasions their curing much better and sooner. O what a pleasure it is to hear all the pretty considerations of so many prudent Doctresses!
For Mistris Sharp-set relates, what a pleasure she oft times received in it, to keep School-time with her husband at noons, as soon as they had feasted their carkasses well: but that conning of her lesson had caused her severall times to make a journy to the Parsly-bed. At this Mistris Sincere wonders extreamly; saying how strangely these things happen to one woman more then another.
Madam Elenor will admire at it. And I'm sure she hath something that she will relate unto you. Herewith the good Mistris begins to get a drift, and away she goes with Peg out of dores. Let it go then as it will with the house keeping.
Mistris Lookabout was going to begin again; but they heard such rapping and knocking at the dore, that one of them said I beleeve there are our husbands; and indeed she guest very well. This augmented their mirth mightily. And especially of the Nurse; for now she was sure that, if the good Cully her Master treated his Gossips nobly and liberally, her presents would be doubled.
This precept, so abhominable in this soveraigne and mistris Amitie, is necessarie and wholesome in the use of vulgar and customarie friendships: toward which a man must employ the saying Aristotle was wont so often repeat, "Oh you my friends, there is no perfect friend."
Twas, indeed. Now tell me: Why at the first approach seem'd you so modest? You have confidence to spare now. Cou. Troth I came not With any wooing purpose; only to please My Uncle, and try thy witt; and that converted me. Enter Thomas. Tho. Did you see my Master, Captaine Underwit? Cou. Yes, hee's talking with the priest and Mistris Dorothy. Tho.
It hapned to me once that some Gentlewomen were merry with me somewhat late in the evening; and because I had had several Symptoms of Labour, said this, Mistris Bounce-about, if you would now take a walk to the Parsley bed, we would help you very bravely; but neither wind nor weather was serviceable at that time.
In the mean while there is no body happier than the maids, for they are then free from being the Town-talk; for at other times, the first word is, How do you like your maid? which is another Text that the women generally preach out of, and make longest sermons in. But methinks, I should happen to fall here from the Mistris upon the Maid. To go forward then.
And before dinner is fully done, he must hear Peg asking her Mistris; Mistris, wont you please forsooth, to go by and by and give Mistris Moody a visit, or discourse a little with Madam Elenor? As long as you have nothing to do, what need you ty your self to any thing? Pray tell her that story that the North Country Gentleman related, which you laught at yesterday so heartily.
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