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Updated: June 25, 2025
Aunt Kate drew Gabriel aside hurriedly and whispered into his ear: "Slip down, Gabriel, like a good fellow and see if he's all right, and don't let him up if he's screwed. I'm sure he's screwed. I'm sure he is." Gabriel went to the stairs and listened over the banisters. He could hear two persons talking in the pantry. Then he recognised Freddy Malins' laugh. He went down the stairs noisily.
As the subject had grown lugubrious it was buried in a silence of the table during which Mrs. Malins could be heard saying to her neighbour in an indistinct undertone: "They are very good men, the monks, very pious men."
Freddy Malins explained to him, as best he could, that the monks were trying to make up for the sins committed by all the sinners in the outside world. The explanation was not very clear for Mr. Browne grinned and said: "I like that idea very much but wouldn't a comfortable spring bed do them as well as a coffin?" "The coffin," said Mary Jane, "is to remind them of their last end."
Browne, whose face was once more wrinkling with mirth, poured out for himself a glass of whisky while Freddy Malins exploded, before he had well reached the climax of his story, in a kink of high-pitched bronchitic laughter and, setting down his untasted and overflowing glass, began to rub the knuckles of his left fist backwards and forwards into his left eye, repeating words of his last phrase as well as his fit of laughter would allow him.
The difficulty was to know where to drop Mr. Browne along the route, and Aunt Kate, Aunt Julia and Mary Jane helped the discussion from the doorstep with cross-directions and contradictions and abundance of laughter. As for Freddy Malins he was speechless with laughter.
I had been busy in London preparing the film of the King's visit to his troops in France, when I received an urgent message to report immediately at General Headquarters most important. I reported to Captain . "Can you get away in the morning, Malins? The boat train leaves early." "If there is something doing I wouldn't miss it for worlds!" I replied.
"O, we'll find another along the quay," said Gabriel. "Yes," said Aunt Kate. "Better not keep Mrs. Malins standing in the draught." Mrs. Malins was helped down the front steps by her son and Mr. Browne and, after many manoeuvres, hoisted into the cab. Freddy Malins clambered in after her and spent a long time settling her on the seat, Mr. Browne helping him with advice.
Malins, who had been silent all through the supper, said that her son was going down to Mount Melleray in a week or so. The table then spoke of Mount Melleray, how bracing the air was down there, how hospitable the monks were and how they never asked for a penny-piece from their guests. "And do you mean to say," asked Mr.
Then, just as the chain was about to start again, she stood on tiptoe and whispered into his ear: "West Briton!" When the lancers were over Gabriel went away to a remote corner of the room where Freddy Malins' mother was sitting. She was a stout feeble old woman with white hair. Her voice had a catch in it like her son's and she stuttered slightly.
Browne begged of them to sit down and eat their suppers and so did Gabriel but they said there was time enough, so that, at last, Freddy Malins stood up and, capturing Aunt Kate, plumped her down on her chair amid general laughter. When everyone had been well served Gabriel said, smiling: "Now, if anyone wants a little more of what vulgar people call stuffing let him or her speak."
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