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Maconochie ventured upon the bold assumption that the criminal was a human being, and this assumption proved to be justified. In 1840 he was sent to Norfolk Island to take charge of 1400 double-convicted felons there. He describes them in these words: "For the merest trifle they were flogged, ironed or confined in gaol for days on bread and water.
Where are you hit?" Tommy looks up and answers, "Yes. In the leg." After dismissal from parade, we returned to our billets, and I had to get busy immediately with the dinner issue. Dinner consisted of stew made from fresh beef, a couple of spuds, bully beef, Maconochie rations and water, plenty of water. There is great competition among the men to spear with their forks the two lonely potatoes.
La Touche, at her direction, placed the new found Maconochie tins, the cotton waste, the bradawl and wire with the rest of the stores, far back in the cave, and then, following her, they lumbered along down the beach in the direction of the cliff break like two schoolboys after a governess.
Bompard, on his knees, and with a maconochie tin in his left hand, raised his head and looked. "Ay, that's Kerguelen," said Bompard. "And look," said the girl, pointing towards Kerguelen. "Is not that the sail of a boat, away ever so far or is it a gull? Now it's gone. Look, there it is again." Bompard looked.
Now, there's some blokes as grouses all the time 'ere, Bert, you might 'and over your knife a moment to scrape the mud off me face, it all cracks, like, when I talk if they've got a Maconochie ration they wants bully beef, an' if they've got bully beef they carn't abear nothink but Maconochie.
Maconochie, the Camp Commandant sighed heavily. "I am a kind of receptacle for the waste products of everybody's mind," he exclaimed petulantly. Then two nuns called and asked me to find a discreet soldier un soldat discret to escort them to Hazebrouck; I told them to take my servant, who is a married man with five children.
The sap parties heard only the oil-can; Percy FitzPercy for a wonder was not brooding over his invention, and there was no one who knew that close beside them in an odoriferous underground abode the Brigadier-General lay completely stunned, with his head in a metal soup tureen and his rather extensive set of uppers in a disused tin hitherto devoted to that painstaking gentleman, Mr. Maconochie.
"Let down this tailboard; load this officer's platoon into the lorry; issue them with a Maconochie and a tot of rum apiece; and don't forget to put Smee under arrest for dangerous driving when we get back to billets." "Very good, sir."
And sometimes, when the ration parties arrive, mud-stained and weary, in the dead of night, and throw down their bursting sacks, our eyes feast upon such revelations as tinned butter, condensed milk, raisins, and a consignment of that great chieftain of the ration race, The Maconochie of Maconochie.
You get out a Maconochie, open it, and take a spoonful, when you find the centres tying themselves up in a knot with the leaders. Up you get, straighten them out, and sit down again. After two more spoonfuls, you find the wheelers playing cat's-cradle with the centres' traces. Perhaps the wheel-driver is asleep, and you get up and put them right.
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