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Updated: May 19, 2025
And we drinked a glass full of it a piece, and then we wandered out of the back door-way, and went down into the pretty; old-fashioned garden back of the house. Josiah and me and Miss Flamm went. The dog and the two relatives didn't seem to want to go. The relatives sot up there straight as two sticks, one of 'em holdin' the dog, and they didn't even look round at us.
But jest at this minute Miss Flamm got through talkin' with her relatives about the road, and settled down to caressin' the dog ag'in, and Josiah hadn't time to remark any further, only to say, "Watch me, Samantha, and when I say jump, jump." And then we sot still but watchful.
But truly worse wuz to come, for Miss Flamm in an interval of silence, sez, "We will go first to the Gizer Spring, and then, afterwards, to the Moon." Or, that is what I understand her to say. And though I kep' still, I wuz determined to keep my eyes out, and if I see her goin' into anything dangerus, I wuz goin' to reject her overtures to take us.
You're the kind that's going to bring in a big fish, and I wish it to you." "Lots you know." "Come on; let me ride you around the block, then." "If if you like my company so much, can't you just take a walk with me or come out and sit on our steps awhile?" "Lord, girl, Flamm Avenue is hot enough to fry my soul to-night!"
Says I, "Do you tell me, Miss Flamm, that you are a goin' down into that crowd of promiscus men and women, with nothin' but them strings on to cover you?" Says I, "Do you tell me that, and you a perfesser and a Christian?"
She left the baby carriage and the little boys and girl in a careless place, not knowin' what she wuz about, and they got run over. The baby and the little boys wuzn't hurt much, but they think the little girl will die. Miss Flamm went right into a caniption fit," sez she, "when she wuz brung in." "It is a pity she hadn't went into one before," sez I very dryly, dry as a chip almost.
But at this very minute, before I could rebuke him for his feerful profanity, Miss Flamm motioned to us to come and take a seat round a little table, and consequently we sot.
He never looked at a woman durin' our hull stay at Saratoga, save with the eye of a philosopher and a Methodist. Miss G. Washington Flamm is a very fashionable woman. Thomas Jefferson carried her through a law-suit, and carried her stiddy and safe. She had come to Jonesville for the summer to board, her husband bein' to home at the time in New York village, down on Wall street.
"I have got it on," says she. "Where is it?" says I, a lookin' at her closer through my specks, "Where is the waist?" "Here," says she, a pintin' to a pink belt ribbon, and a string of beads over each shoulder. Says I, "Miss Flamm, do you call that a waist?" "Yes," says she, and she balanced herself on her little pink tottlin' slippers.
But at last, after what wuz seemingly a great effort, he began to go on as usual agin. About that time I heard sunthin' hit the wall hard on the other side of the room, and I heard a yelp. But then everything wuz still and Josiah Allen made a good prayer. And before it wuz through Miss Flamm laid her head down onto my shoulder, and busted into tears.
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