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Updated: May 28, 2025
I hearn of your marriage to the Printcis Alexandry, & ment ter writ you a congratoolatory letter at the time, but I've bin bildin a barn this summer, & hain't had no time to write letters to folks. Excoose me. Numeris changes has tooken place since we met in the body politic. The body politic, in fack, is sick. I sometimes think it has got biles, friend Wales.
It's diff'rently with scullin boats, which is a manly sport, and I can only explain Mr. Hamil's resunt defeat in this country on the grounds that he wasn't used to British water. I hope this explanation will be entirely satisfact'ry to all. As I remarked afore, I'm gettin' on well. I'm aware that I'm in the great metrop'lis of the world, and it doesn't make me onhappy to admit the fack.
I will remark here, while on the subjeck of Injuns, that they are in the main a very shaky set, with even less sense than the Fenians, and when I hear philanthropists bewailin the fack that every year "carries the noble red man nearer the settin sun," I simply have to say I'm glad of it, tho' it is rough on the settin sun.
"Yer see, some time ago, when I was a candidate for justice ob de peace, I gin' a barbecue ter some ob my frien's. De udder day da brung up de fack an' ousted me." "I don't see why the fact that you gave a barbecue to your friends should have caused any trouble." "Neider does myse'f, boss; but yer see da said dat I stole de hogs what I barbecued.
He looked up, a little surprised to see me, and I guess ships were running through his head also, for that was his first question. I sat down on a near-by grave. "The fack is, Mr. Smith," I said, very meaningly, "you paid me a little visit last night and I paid you one." "Oh, my God!" he said, turning whiter than paper, and the voice coming out of him like an old man's.
"Nonsense!" "But they have, sir. It's as fact as fack. There's the top wooden window open, and Jellard's long fruit-ladder lying in the yard." Tom hurried down at once, to find the ladder just as he had left it; and on entering the mill, closely followed by David, he looked round for traces of the burglarious work that must have been done.
With a mortified air, he told me to git out of his offiss. I pittid him and went. About two years ago I arrove in Oberlin, Ohio. Oberlin is whare the celebrated college is. In fack, Oberlin IS the college, everything else in that air vicinity resolvin around excloosivly for the benefit of that institution.
But almost as quickly he recovered himself, and, with a polite but deprecating bow, said, "For God sake, sah! I admit de sarkumstances is agin me, but de simple fack is dat I'm temper'ly occupyin' de place of an ole frien', sah, who is called round de cornah." "And I'm devilish glad of any fact, George, that gives me a chance of having my hair cut by Colonel Pendleton's right-hand man.
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