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Updated: June 21, 2025
"But, surely," exclaimed Ethelbertha, "you don't mean to say you're breaking off the match because you don't like his sausages!" "Well, I suppose that's what it comes to," agreed Amenda, unconcernedly. "What an awful idea!" sighed poor Ethelbertha, after a long pause. "Do you think you ever really loved him?"
I called at my tailors on the way home and ordered a yachting suit, with a white hat, which they promised to bustle up and have ready in time; and then I went home and told Ethelbertha all I had done. Her delight was clouded by only one reflection would the dressmaker be able to finish a yachting costume for her in time? That is so like a woman.
We are going to put into this novel simply all we know." Ethelbertha shut her lips, and said something inside; and then remarked aloud that she supposed it would be a one volume affair. I felt hurt at the implied sneer.
"What we want," said Harris, "is a change." At this moment the door opened, and Mrs. Harris put her head in to say that Ethelbertha had sent her to remind me that we must not be late getting home because of Clarence. Ethelbertha, I am inclined to think, is unnecessarily nervous about the children. As a matter of fact, there was nothing wrong with the child whatever.
We differed on the matter of the drawing-room carpet, I recollect. Ethelbertha fancied a dark blue velvet, but I felt sure, taking the wall-paper into consideration, that some shade of terra-cotta would harmonise best. She agreed with me in the end, and we manufactured one out of an old chest protector. It had a really charming effect, and gave a delightfully warm tone to the room.
If it had not been for George and Harris, I would have abandoned it. As it was, I could not see how to change my mind with dignity. "Very well, Ethelbertha," I replied, "it shall be as you wish. If you desire a holiday from my presence, you shall enjoy it; but if it be not impertinent curiosity on the part of a husband, I should like to know what you propose doing in my absence?"
Three things had combined to lead me into this foolishness: I had had a stroke of unexpected luck; Ethelbertha had expressed a yearning for sea air; and the very next morning, in taking up casually at the club a copy of the Sportsman, I had come across the following advertisement: TO YACHTSMEN. Unique Opportunity. "Rogue," 28-ton Yawl.
As I explained at the commencement, it was told to me by Ethelbertha, who had it from Amenda, who got it from the char-woman, and exaggerations may have crept into it. The following, however, were incidents that came under my own personal observation.
"I asked you, Amenda," I said reproachfully, "to tell me the time about ten minutes ago." "Oh, did you?" she called back pleasantly. "I beg your pardon. I thought you asked me if I knew it it's half-past four." Ethelbertha inquired to return to our fire if she had tried lighting it again. "Oh yes, mum," answered the girl. "I've tried four times."
I'm a nice sort of girl to be walking out with a respectable milkman. "She was so deeply disgusted with herself that it seemed superfluous for anybody else to be indignant with her; and Ethelbertha changed her tone and tried to comfort her. "'Oh, you'll get over all that nonsense, Amenda, she said, laughingly; 'you see yourself how silly it is. You must tell Mr.
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