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Updated: June 27, 2025
Talk up, says I, 'or we'll mix a panful of batter right here. "I slid over the counter after Uncle Emsley. He grabbed at his gun, but it was in a drawer, and he missed it two inches. I got him by the front of his shirt and shoved him in a corner. "'Talk pancakes, says I, 'or be made into one. Does Miss Willella make 'em?
Start her off, now pound of flour, eight dozen eggs, and so on. How does the catalogue of constituents run? "'Excuse me for a moment, please, says Miss Willella, and she gives me a quick kind of sideways look, and slides off the stool. She ambled out into the other room, and directly Uncle Emsley comes in in his shirt sleeves, with a pitcher of water.
"'She never made one in her life and I never saw one, says Uncle Emsley, soothing. 'Calm down now, Jud calm down. You've got excited, and that wound in your head is contaminating your sense of intelligence. Try not to think about pancakes. "'Uncle Emsley, says I, 'I'm not wounded in the head except so far as my natural cognitive instincts run to runts.
"'She never made one in her life and I never saw one, says Uncle Emsley, soothing. 'Calm down now, Jud calm down. You've got excited, and that wound in your head is contaminating your sense of intelligence. Try not to think about pancakes. "'Uncle Emsley, says I, 'I'm not wounded in the head except so far as my natural cognitive instincts run to runts.
I got up on the counter and told Uncle Emsley that the signs pointed to the devastation of the fruit crop of the world. In a minute I had a bag of crackers and a long-handled spoon, with an open can each of apricots and pineapples and cherries and greengages beside of me with Uncle Emsley busy chopping away with the hatchet at the yellow clings.
Jackson Bird has been courting Willella ever since that day he took her out riding. "'Then, says I, in a kind of yell, 'what was all this zizzaparoola he gives me about pancakes? Tell me /that/. "When I said 'pancakes' Uncle Emsley sort of dodged and stepped back. "'Somebody's been dealing me pancakes from the bottom of the deck, I says, 'and I'll find out. I believe you know.
'You've rid too far to-day, Jud, and got yourself over-excited. Try to think about something else now. "'Do you know how to make them pancakes, Uncle Emsley? I asked. "'Well, I'm not as apprised in the anatomy of them as some, says Uncle Emsley, 'but I reckon you take a sifter of plaster of Paris and a little dough and saleratus and corn meal, and mix 'em with eggs and buttermilk as usual.
"'She's gone riding, I whisper in my bronc's ear, 'with Birdstone Jack, the hired mule from Sheep Man's Canada. Did you get that, old Leather-and-Gallops? "That bronc of mine wept, in his way. He'd been raised a cow pony and he didn't care for snoozers. "I went back and said to Uncle Emsley: 'Did you say a sheep man? "'I said a sheep man, says Uncle Emsley again.
Uncle Emsley looked at 'em with one eye shut and says: "'Haven't ye heard the news? "'Cattle up? I asks. "'Willella and Jackson Bird was married in Palestine yesterday, says he. 'Just got a letter this morning. "I dropped them flowers in a cracker-barrel, and let the news trickle in my ears and down toward my upper left-hand shirt pocket until it got to my feet.
"'The Holy Land, I says to myself, my thoughts milling some as I tried to run 'em into the corral. 'Why not? There was sure angels in Pales Why, yes, Uncle Emsley, I says out loud, 'I'd be awful edified to meet Miss Learight. "So Uncle Emsley took me out in the yard and gave us each other's entitlements. "I never was shy about women.
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