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Updated: May 16, 2025
'Come to Bath with me, quoth he, 'for a week, and you shall return as rich as a Jew. I accepted the offer, and went to Bath in my friend's chariot. He took the name of Lord Dunshunner, an Irish peer who had never been out of Tipperary, and was not therefore likely to be known at Bath. He took also a house for a year; filled it with wines, books, and a sideboard of plate.
"Yes, it is indeed a suggestive season. How deeply, Mr Dunshunner, we ought to feel the pensive progress of autumn towards a soft and premature decay! I always think, about this time of the year, that nature is falling into a consumption!" "To be sure, ma'am," said I, rather taken aback by this style of colloquy, "the trees are looking devilishly hectic." "Ah, you have remarked that too!
"Now," said Bob, "we must put you down. Recollect, all the management that is, the allocation will be intrusted to you. Augustus you haven't a middle name, I think? well, then, suppose we interpolate 'Reginald; it has a smack of the Crusades. Augustus Reginald Dunshunner, Esq. of where, in the name of Munchausen!" "I'm sure I don't know. I never had any land beyond the contents of a flower-pot.
At this speech Paul looked wistfully round the spruce parlour, and thought what a fine thing it would be to be lord of such a domain, together with the appliances of flageolet and cremona, boxing-gloves, books, fly-flanking flagellum, three guineas, with the little mountain of silver, and the reputation shared only with Lord Dunshunner of being the best whip in London.
For my part, with all my love for my profession, I liked ingenuity still better than force, and preferred what the vulgar call swindling, even to the highroad. On an expedition of this sort, I rode once into a country town, and saw a crowd assembled in one corner; I joined it, and my feelings! beheld my poor friend Viscount Dunshunner just about to be hanged!
The fact is monstrous, and demands the immediate and serious interference of the legislature." "It is a burning shame," said I, fully alive to the manifold advantages of a premium. "I'll tell you what, Dunshunner," rejoined M'Corkindale, "it's no use going on in this way. We haven't shown half pluck enough. These fellows consider us as snobs, because we don't take the bull by the horns.
"Now," said Bob, "we must put you down. Recollect, all the management, that is, the allocation, will be intrusted to you. Augustus you haven't a middle name, I think? well then, suppose we interpolate 'Reginald'; it has a smack of the crusades. Augustus Reginald Dunshunner, Esq. of where, in the name of Munchausen!" "I'm sure I don't know. I never had any land beyond the contents of a flower-pot.
Stay I rather think I have a superiority somewhere about Paisley." "Just the thing," cried Bob. "It's heritable property, and therefore titular. What's the denomination?" "St Mirrens." "Beautiful! Dunshunner of St Mirrens, I give you joy! Had you discovered that a little sooner and I wonder you did not think of it we might both of us have had lots of allocations.
We must not let them have the whip-hand of us. I think upon the whole, Dunshunner, though it's letting them go dog cheap, that we ought to sell half our shares at the present premium, whilst there is a certainty of getting it." "Why not sell the whole? I'm sure I have no objections to part with every stiver of the scrip on such terms."
"Yes, it is indeed a suggestive season. How deeply, Mr. Dunshunner, we ought to feel the pensive progress of autumn toward a soft and premature decay! I always think, about this time of the year, that nature is falling into a consumption!" "To be sure, ma'am," said I, rather taken aback by this style of colloquy, "the trees are looking devilishly hectic." "Ah, you have remarked that too! Strange!
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