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Updated: May 8, 2025
The mariner in charge looked destracted. And the bystanders a standin' by wuz amazed, and horrowfied by the spectacle of his actin' and behavin'. And I knew not how I should termonate the seen, and withdraw him away from where he wuz.
And, askin' in a wild' sarcastic way where the song wuz that she sung to mariners? And hollerin' for him to bring on that rock at that minute, and them mariners, and ordered him to set her to singin'. The idee! of that little skeletin with her skinny lips drawed back from her shinin' fish teeth, a singin'. The idee on't! But truly, he wuz destracted and knew not what he did.
I unpacked the Suitcase as fast as I could, therfore, and being just about destracted, I bundled the things up and put them all together in the toy Closet, where all Sis's dolls and mine are, mine being mostly pretty badly gone, as I was always hard on dolls. How far removed were those Inocent Years when I played with dolls!
She will weepe Even at your name; breath miriads of sighes; Wring her hands thus; demonstrate all the signes Of a destracted lover; that in pitty, Though I did love you well, I have transferd My right to her, and charge you by all ties That you affect her with the same true zeale Which you did me, and ift be possible, Purer and better. Tho. This is the strangest madnes I ere heard of. Thu.
"There!" she sputtered, in triumph, at last, clinging hold of the swimming-raft; "I almost got away from the place where I was, then." She turned over on her back to rest herself, and float for a moment, then prepared for another start. "I don't seem to wiggle my feet right. I get so destracted thinking of my hands, that I always forget to kick. I can't keep my mind in two places at once."
They couldn't all on 'em have it. Christopher couldn't be in three places at one time and simultanous, no matter how much calculation he had about him. No, that wuz impossible. He had to be in one place. And they fit, and they fit, and they fit, till I got tired of the very name of the World's Fair, and Josiah got almost ravin' destracted.
And I tell you," says he, a turnin' to that destracted mariner agin "I tell you to bring on that comb and that long hair, this instant. Do you s'pose I'm goin' to pay out my money to see that rack-a-bone that I wouldn't have a layin' out in my barn-yard for fear of scerin' the dumb scere-crows out in the lot.
Oh! the agony of them several minutes, while these thoughts wuz rampagin through my destracted brain. Oh! if pardners only knew the agony they bring onto their devoted companions, by their onguarded and thoughtless acts, and attentions to other females, gin without proper reseerch and precautions, it would draw their liniments down into expressions of shame and remorse.
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