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Updated: May 22, 2025
Well, one day I stopped at Jucklin's house to get out of the rain he hadn't been married long and soon after I went into the sitting-room, the wife began to whisper to the husband, and when she went out, which she did a moment later, Jucklin turned to me and said: 'Go up stairs, take off your britches and throw 'em down here, and I'll bring 'em back to you after a while. I was actually out at the knees, sir, and I did as he told me, and when he brought my trousers back they were neatly patched.
What I'm thinkin' about, well, for us to have it the way it ought to be, so's you and Verman would look like natives well, Verman ought to take off his britches, too." "Mo!" said Verman, shaking his head violently. "Mo!" "Well, wait a minute, can't you?" Sam Williams said. "Give Penrod a chance to say what he wants to, first, can't you? Go on, Penrod."
Well, Jerry he'll drive up and come in to the paper counter, his eyes shinin' and his nerves all keyed up and one hand shoved down into his britches pocket. He'll stand and look over the papers on the counter, readin' as much of every one as he can for nothin', and then by and by that hand'll come out of his pocket with a cent in it.
"They could get up a social, or fair, or an entertainment of some kind. They used to do a lot that way before Brother Cameron came." "Yes, and spent twenty-seven cents to make seventeen, while their boys run the streets and their husbands darn their own britches," broke in Uncle Bobbie again. "I tell you, I don't believe that so much of this Ladies' Aid business is business.
"In his britches pockets, and he don't scurcely speak a word for hours at a stretch. And they're up all times of the night, fussin' over account books and writin' letters and I don't know what all. It's plain enough what's comin'. Everybody in town is on to it. Why, I was up to the store t'other day settin' outside on the steps and Ab Bacheldor came along.
"Didn't know you owned one o' them critters, George," "Does she wear the britches, George?" and so forth my friend Jenks arose, peering, his whiskered mouth so agape that he almost dropped his pipe. And we all peered, with the women of the caravan smitten mute but intensely curious, while the solitary figure, braving our stares, came on to the fires. "Gawd almighty!" Mr. Jenks delivered.
"Well, we oughter be thankful we've got the things to give, and we'll find some sort of way to slip up on the blind side of them about the taking of them. The Deacon's britches is one pressing thing. Can't we take some of the church carpet money and get Mr. Hoover to buy him a pair when he hauls corn to town Monday?"
When you do, will you tell Rose Mamie?" "Yes, I reckon I'll have to wait till then, and I'll tell you sure, Rose Mamie, when I do find out. I won't never forget it, but I hope maybe Tobe won't get into no more mess from now till then. Please come find the britches for me!"
"But," began Mother Mayberry slowly, having in the last second weighed the matter and made a decision, "your mother ain't said you couldn't go outen the yard and she ain't said I couldn't wrap you up in one of my kitchen aprons. That wouldn't be the same as changing the britches.
Thar's a woman yonder in britches an' she 'laows to come on. She's lookin' for Mister Jenks." Save for his excited stuttering silence reigned, a minute. Then in a storm of rude raillery "That's a hoss on you, George!"
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