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Updated: May 27, 2025
She had scolloped it on one side and wur just beginnin' it on the other when she see the fire, and she went gently to the door, opened it in a quiet ladylike way, and asked a neighbor goin' by in her low even axent, if he would kindly stop a minute.
Josiah studied their costoom with happy interest, but a deep shade of anxiety darkened his mean as they would spread out their wares before me, and he sez with a axent of tender interest: "If you knew, Samantha, how much more beautiful you looked to me in your cameo pin you would never think of appearin' in diamonds and rubies."
And do you go this minute, Josiah Allen, and foller his tracks!" "I sha'n't foller nobody's tracks, Samantha Allen, till I have sunthin' to eat." I knew there wuzn't no use of reasonin' no further with him then; for when he said Samantha Allen in that axent, I knew he wus as sot as a hemlock post, and as hard to move as one.
"No," sez Josiah, who had come in and wuz a standin' by the side of me, as I spoke out to myself unbeknown to me sez he in a proud axent "No, they hain't mourners, they are Happyfiers; they are Highlariers; they have come to our party. We are givin' a party, Samantha. We are havin' a diamond weddin' here for Lodema." "A diamond weddin'!" I repeated mechanically.
"But they won't do it," sez Arvilly in a mad cross axent. "They'll keep right on preachin' sermons against wrong and votin' to sustain it, if they vote at all. Gamblin' for bed-quilts and afghans to git money to send woollen clothin' to prespirin' heathens in torrid countries, while our half-clad and hungry poor shiver in the cold shadder of their steeples oncared for and onthought on."
If it is to throw yourself in front of any idol and perish, I will save you if I shed the last drop of blood in my system!" "Yes," sez I, "you could do great bizness in savin' me, togged out as you are, made helpless by your own folly; but," sez I, in a holler, awful axent, "it hain't that, Josiah; it is fur worse than losin' my life; that wouldn't be nothin' in comparison."
"Yes," sez he, "but if we do succeed, after the most strenious efforts in getting the duty off champagne, green turtle, olives, etc., and put on to sugar, tea, cotton cloth and such like, with all this brain fag and brain labor " "And tongue labor!" sez I in a icy axent. "Yes, after all this ceaseless toil the common people will not show any gratitude; we statesmen labor oft with aching hearts."
"Yes," sez he with intense conviction in his tone. "One wife is enough for any man, heaven knows, and anybody that hankers after more than one is a fool!" I didn't really like his axent; he'd been layin' it up, I guess what I said about vittles, but I didn't mind it. And we went through the different quarters of the city.
And I gathered up the folds of my cotton umbrell more gracefully in my left hand, and kinder shook out the drapery of my alpaca skirt, and wuz jest advancin' to accost him, when Josiah laid holt of my arm and whispered in a sharp axent "I won't have it. You hain't a-goin' to stop and visit with that man." I faced him with dignity and with some madness in my liniment, and sez I, "Why?"
I dare presoom to say I eppisoded more'n a hour to myself about it and to Josiah, 'tennyrate Josiah got real huffy and acted, and sez in a pitiful axent: "Samantha, I'm willin' to hear preachin' twice a week and can set under it like a man, but it comes kinder tough to have moralizin' and preachin' brung into the bosom of the family and liable to be drizzled out onto me week days, and any time, night or day."
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