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Updated: June 10, 2025
The dressing-room door was shut. When I knocked, Bimala called out: "I am dressing." "I wonder at the Chota Rani," exclaimed my sister-in-law, "dressing so early in the day! One of their Bande Mataram meetings, I suppose. Robber Queen!" she called out in jest to Bimala. "Are you counting your spoils inside?"
What I should like to be able to tell Nikhil frankly is, that happenings such as these must be looked in the face as great Realities and that which is the Truth should not be allowed to stand between true friends. There is no denying that I have really weakened. It was not this weakness which won over Bimala; she burnt her wings in the blaze of the full strength of my unhesitating manliness.
In the present chapter of my life, which is growing in interest every day round Bimala and Nikhil, there is also much that remains hidden underneath.
Everything is ready, success is at hand, but we must have money. "Money? How much money?" "Not so very much, but by hook or by crook we must have it!" "But how much?" "A mere fifty thousand rupees will do for the present." Bimala blenched inwardly at the figure, but tried not to show it. How could she again admit defeat? "Queen!" said I, "you only can make the impossible possible.
Its thrill must not be deadened by repetition, for then what is now music will descend to mere argument. There is at present no room in her mind for the question "why?" So I must not deprive Bimala, who is one of those creatures for whom illusion is necessary, of her full supply of it.
Never shall I truly live till it kills me utterly! I can bear it no longer, my heart is breaking!" Bimala slid down from her seat and fell at my feet, which she clasped, and then she sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. This is hypnotism indeed the charm which can subdue the world! No materials, no weapons but just the delusion of irresistible suggestion.
The comet had passed by, but the brush of its burning tail had overcome her. To help her to recover herself I said: "Obstacles there will be, but let us fight them through, and not be down- hearted. Is not that best, Queen?" Bimala cleared her throat with a little cough, but simply to murmur: "Yes."
Because they had to bring all the diamonds of their happiness and the pearls of their sorrow into our royal treasury, they have found their true wealth. So for men to accept is truly to give: for women to give is truly to gain. The demand I have just made from Bimala, however, is indeed a large one!
If only we could pay him that two thousand rupees at once, we could buy him up body and soul. This is just the sort of man who could render us immense service, if won over. We shall never be able to make any headway unless we can lay our hands on plenty of money. As soon as Bimala came into the sitting-room, in the evening, I said as I rose up to receive her: "Queen!
The house which becomes empty through the parting of lovers, still has music left in the heart of its emptiness. But the house that is empty because hearts are asunder, is awful in its silence. Even the cry of pain is out of place there. This cry of pain must be silenced in me. So long as I continue to suffer, Bimala will never have true freedom.
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