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Updated: September 12, 2024
'Rubbish! You are asked to stop a congregational infection, and you 'Vaccinate ourselves with the same stuff, to make sure the attack shall be light. 'It's a hair of the dog that bit us, said Mendel, who, with Peleg, had lingered to back up Barzinsky. 'Of the mad dog! exclaimed the Parnass. 'And you're all raging mad. 'It's the only sane way, urged Peleg. 'When he sees his rivals open
'Against the Sabbath-breaker, corrected the Parnass. 'You didn't single him out, added Barzinsky; 'you didn't even make it clear that Joseph wasn't myself. 'I said Joseph was a goodly person and well-favoured, retorted the goaded minister. The Parnass took snuff, and his sneeze sounded like a guffaw. 'Well, well, he said more kindly, 'you must try again to-morrow.
It took a long discussion, however, before the synagogue decided to wash its hands of responsibility, and give over to a sub-committee of three the task of ridding Sudminster of its plague-spot by any means that commended itself to them. Solomon Barzinsky, Ephraim Mendel, and Peleg the pawnbroker were elected to constitute this Council of Three.
'I don't wonder he laughed at us, said Straumann, encouraged. 'Bi-weekly by a member. Ha! ha! ha! 'Mr. President! Barzinsky screamed. 'Will you throw that laughing hyena out, or shall I? Straumann froze to a statue of dignity. 'Let any animalcule try it on, said he. 'Shut up, you children, I'll chuck you both out, said Ephraim Mendel in conciliatory tones.
The report of the pastor's collapse produced an emergency meeting of the leading sheep. The mid-day dinner-hour was chosen as the slackest. A babble of suggestions filled the Parnass's parlour. Solomon Barzinsky kept sternly repeating his Delenda est Carthago: 'He must be expelled from the congregation. 'He should be expelled from the town altogether, said Mendel.
'To-day, yes, but to-morrow there might be two. 'It could hardly be to-morrow, said the stylist. 'For that happens to be a Monday. Barzinsky bashed the table. 'Mr. President, are we here for business or are we not? 'You may be here for business I am here for religion, retorted Straumann the stylist. 'You you snub-nosed monkey, what do you mean? 'Order, order, gentlemen, said the Parnass.
A great peace reigned in every heart, almost like the Sabbath peace coming into the middle of the week. 'If they had only taken my advice earlier, said Solomon Barzinsky to his wife, as he rolled his forkful of beef in the chutney. 'You can write to your father, Deborah, said Lazarus Levy, 'that we no longer need the superior reach-me-downs.
'It stands in the Psalmist, Barzinsky interrupted: "The Law of Thy mouth is better to me than thousands of gold and silver." 'It stands in the Perek, the Parnass rejoined severely, 'that the wise man does not break in upon the speech of his fellow. 'It stands in the Shulchan Aruch, Barzinsky shrieked, 'that for the sanctification of the Sabbath
'That would be just as forbidden, said Barzinsky, as he dealt the cards. 'But your cousin David, his wife reminded him, 'sells his groceries to a Christian at Passover. 'That is permitted. It would not be reasonable to destroy hundreds of pounds of leaven. But Sabbath partnerships are not permitted. 'Perhaps the question has never been raised, said the Parnass.
'Hush, leave off these squabbles! said Solomon Barzinsky. 'The law is slow, and not even sure. The time has come for desperate measures. We must root out the plague-spot with our own hands. 'Hear, hear, said the rest of the Sub-Committee. On the succeeding Sabbath Simeon Samuels was not the only figure in the synagogue absorbed in devotion.
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