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Updated: May 14, 2025
The Envoy and the Elderly Gentleman take off their hats and go into the temple on tiptoe, Zoo leading the way. The Wife and Daughter, frightened as they are, raise their heads uppishly and follow flatfooted, sustained by a sense of their Sunday clothes and social consequence. Zozim remains in the portico, alone. Inside the temple. A gallery overhanging an abyss. Dead silence.
ZOZIM. Well, you are not suffering from that, are you? You have not a mortified air. THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN. Naturally we are not absolutely insane and suicidal. Nevertheless we impose on ourselves abstinences and disciplines and studies that are meant to prepare us for living three centuries. And we seldom live one.
The strain which was driving me mad relaxes: I feel almost as if I were at the club. ZOO. Never fear. They had no business to give you in charge to Zozim. You see he is just on the verge of becoming a secondary; and these adolescents will give themselves the airs of tertiaries. THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN. Flapper? What does that mean?
To you it may be a blessing, because you do live three hundred years. To us, who live less than a hundred, whose flesh is as grass, it is the most unbearable burden our poor tortured humanity has ever groaned under. THE ENVOY. Hullo, Poppa! Steady! How do you make that out? ZOZIM. What is three hundred years? Short enough, if you ask me.
I curse the day when long life was invented, just as the victims of Jonhobsnoxius cursed the day when eternal life was invented. ZOZIM. Pooh! You could live three centuries if you chose. THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN. That is what the fortunate always say to the unfortunate. Well, I do not choose. I accept my three score and ten years.
We are worms beside these fearful people: mere worms. Zozim comes from the temple, robed majestically, and wearing a wreath of mistletoe in his flowing white wig. His false beard reaches almost to his waist. He carries a staff with a curiously carved top. ZOZIM. Are ye prepared? THE ENVOY. We are.
She was delayed by some member of your party who got loose; and as the show takes a bit of arranging, you will have to wait a few minutes. The ladies can go inside and look round the entrance hall and get pictures and things if they want them. ZOZIM. Quite, I should say. You need not keep it up with me. We can wait as long as you please.
We followed suit, didnt we? THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN. Unfortunately, Ambrose, we could not follow suit very rapidly. We had not only a religion to deal with, but a Church. ZOZIM. What is a Church? THE ENVOY. Not know what a Church is! Well!
The folks at home wont know how we have been treated: all theyll know is that Ive stood face to face with the oracle and had the straight tip from her. I hope this Zozim chap is not going to keep us waiting much longer; for I feel far from comfortable about the approaching interview; and thats the honest truth.
They joined us here; and their stock soon reverted to the original white of these islands. THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN. But have you considered the possibility of your colony turning red? ZOZIM. That wont matter. We are not particular about our pigmentation. The old books mention red-faced Englishmen: they appear to have been common objects at one time.
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