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"Letter for yer, sir, yezsir," said my friend the cock-eyed waiter a week or two later, while we were at luncheon, bringing in a long, official-looking document on a salver, which he proceeded to hand me with a smirk and a squint from his cock-eye, that seemed to roam all over the apartment, taking in everything and everyone present in one comprehensive glance. "It's jest come in, sir.
"It happen'd, if yer must know, sir, in this way, sir, yezsir. "Old Blazes that wer the name he allers went by in the yard was a-hangin' round the main gate a-lookin' out for to see who comes along, w'en all of a sudding he spies this good woman as was a-takin' in the clothes from the wash for Admiralty House.
"Seein' what he were after, she axes him wot he means by treating her clothes like that there. "Lord-sakes, sir, if he were old Nick, she had a temper, too, and were as fiery as a she-tiger cat, she were; and, wot between the two, there was then Breakfast, sir? Yezsir, comin', sir!"
"Yezsir, court-martial gun, sir, aboard the flagship, sir," said the wiry little cock-eyed head waiter, who was hopping about the room "like a parched pea on a griddle," as dad expressed it, stopping to flick the dust from the mantelpiece with his napkin as he replied to the mute inquiry he could read in my glance. "Look, sir! They've h'isted the Jack at the peak, sir, yezsir."
"Well, yezsir, old Sir Titus wer him all over and must ha' been his twin-brother; barring the tail, the admiral being shaky about the feet, too, and his boots a'most as big as the dinghy of that sloop. They wos like as two peas, sir, old Nick and he!
Ah, them was fine times, they was, for the watermen on Hardway; for they usest to make a rare harvest a-taking off witnesses and prisoners' `friends, as they calls 'em, and lawyers and noospaper chaps to the flagship, they did. The old chaps called the signal gun `old Fitzblazes's Eight o'clock Gun, sir. They did so, sir, yezsir!"
"Lord-sakes, sir, yer doesn't mean for to say, sir, as a well-growed young gen'leman like yerself, sir, as is a naval gent, sir, as I can see with arf an eye, haven't heard tell o' he? Well, sir, he were port admiral here, sir, a matter of eight or ten year ago, sir, yezsir; and, wot's more, sir, he were the tautest old sea porkypine ye'd fetch across `in a blue moon, as sailor folk say!
"The ossifers, in course, he couldn't sarve out in the same way, not being allowed for to do so by the laws of the service, sir; but he'd court-martial 'em, sir, as many on 'em as would give him arf a chance, and the court-martial gun used for to fire in his time here as reg'lar as clock-work every mornin' at eight, winter and summer alike, jest the same as when the flag's h'isted at sunrise, yezsir!"
"Parties" as heerd tell young gents "as passed and wants fer to get the horder for his h'uniforms, sir, yezsir!" Having thus eased his mind, my old friend bustled out of the room as quickly as he had entered, no doubt afraid of my father giving him another "dressing-down." Dad, however, was not thinking of the waiter or his cheeky manner for the moment.
"It is as we thought, and as you hoped, Jack. You are going to have your wish at last and leave your father and me for your new home on the sea." The cock-eyed waiter broke the rather melancholy silence that ensued. "Them's outfitters' cards, sir, yezsir," he said, bringing in his salver again presently, piled up with circulars and square pieces of pasteboard which he placed before Dad.
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