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Updated: July 13, 2025
I gets trailed off that a-way after pore old Rainbow Sam, an' Slim Jim escapes my mem'ry complete. "Which the story of this gent, even the little we-alls knows, is a heap onusual. No one, onless he's the postmaster, ever does hear his name.
"'Laigs is workin' like they's new oiled, Jim replies back; 'it's a plumb easy game. I reckons, Bill, me an' you could keep ahead of them mavericks a year if we-alls feels like it. "'Bet a blue stack on it, Bill answers. I deems these yere gents soft. Before I'd ride sech ponies as them, I'd go projectin' 'round some night an' steal one.
If you was to go into camp with 'em, an' set down an' watch 'em, you'd shorely be s'prised to note how level-headed all animals be. "Now if thar's anythin' in Arizona for whose jedgement I don't have respect nacheral, it's birds. Arizona for sech folks as you an' me, an' coyotes an' jack-rabbits, is a good range. Sech as we-alls sorter fits into the general play an' gets action for our stacks.
"At this we-alls lines up on the Red Light bar an' nacherally drinks ends the talk, as they allers ought. "Along towards sundown we-alls gets some cooler, an' by second-drink time in the evenin' every one is movin' about, an', as it happens, quite a band is in the Red Light; some drinkin' an' exchangin' of views, an' some buckin' the various games which is goin' wide open all 'round.
"'Shore enough he's got one Injun spread out; an', comin' along a little, Jack Moore turns up a second. "'Yere's another, says Jack, 'which breaks even on the bullet in Texas. "'That's right, says Cherokee, 'I remembers now than is two. The kyards is comin' some Tast, an' I overlooks a bet. "We-alls gets Cherokee in all right, an' next day 'round comes the female tenderfoot to see him.
"We-alls picks Todd up, an' rounds up his pony, which scrambles to its feet an' is now cavortin' about like its mind is overturned, an' explains to him this yere is a joke. But he's surly an' relentless about it; an' it don't take no hawk to see he don't forgive Jaybird a little bit.
"'But whatever can I do to fetch her back to camp? asks Dave, appealin' to Enright mighty wretched. 'I goes plumb locoed if this yere keeps on. "'My notion is, we-alls better put Missis Rucker in to play the hand, says Enright. 'Missis Rucker's a female, an' is shorely due to know what kyards to draw.
If a gent can go blindly shootin' himse'f into bankruptcy that a-way, the American gov'ment is a rank loser, an' the State of Texas is plumb played out." When we-alls proceeds to ferret into this yere myst'ry, we finds thar's a sharp come up from Dallas who claims that Cimmaron's got to pay him what Glidden owes. This yere Dallas party puts said indebtednesses at five stacks of blues.
I'd advise you to p'int for Red Dog, but as to that you plays your hand yourse'f." "Next day that old drunkard Monte comes swingin' in with the stage; the six hosses on the jump, same as he allers does with a woman along. Over at the post-office, where he stops, a lady gets out, an' of course we-alls bows p'lite an' hopes she's well an' frisky. She allows she is, an' heads for the O. K. House.
I knows gents as can tamper with their little old forty drops frequent an' reg'lar. As far as hurtin' of 'em is concerned, it don't come to throwin' water on a drowned rat. Then, ag'in, I've cut gents's trails as drinkin' whiskey is like playin' a harp with a hammer. Which we-alls ain't all upholstered alike; that's whatever.
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