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Updated: June 23, 2025
"How on earth did he do that?" asked Bertie van Tahn. "'He laughed and sang from morn till night," explained Blanche. "How dreadful for the rest of you," said Bertie; "and anyway he wasn't on the banks of Dee." "One had to imagine that," said Blanche.
The cook was a great believer in the influence of environment, and nourished an obstinate conviction that if you brought rabbit and curry-powder together in one dish a rabbit curry would be the result. And Clovis and the odious Bertie van Tahn were coming to dinner. Surely, thought Eleanor, if Arlington knew how much she had had that day to try her, he would refrain from joke-making.
There is the Durmot flapper, for instance, who simply stops at nothing, and you know what Van Tahn is like. Then there is Cyril Skatterly; he has madness on one side of his family and a Hungarian grandmother on the other." "I don't see what they could do that would matter," said Lady Blonze. "It's the unknown that is to be dreaded," said Sir Nicholas.
"There are no sheep here, I tell you," screamed Waldo. "I've only got your word for it," said Bertie, whisking most of the bedclothes on to the floor; "if you weren't concealing something you wouldn't be so agitated." Waldo was by this time convinced that Van Tahn was raving mad, and made an anxious, effort to humour him.
How true! Why, in that very matter of Tommy Atkins, whose manifold portraits have done as much as anything to endear Kipling to the English people it is known to many that in my own foolish youth I enlisted in the Army. I lived with Tommy. I fought and chaffed and drank and drilled and marched, and went 'up tahn' with him, and did pack drill, and had C.B. with him.
Bertie van Tahn rose hurriedly from his recumbent position and made for the glass door leading into the next compartment. "I think your idea of home life in the jungle is perfectly horrid," he said. "The cobra was sinister enough, but the improvised rattle in the tiger-nursery is the limit. If you're going to make me turn hot and cold all over I may as well go into the steam room at once."
"Of course," said Clovis; "this is going to be a Durbar Recessional, the sort of thing that you can keep by you for all time if you want to." "Now I understand your choice of a place to write it in," said Bertie van Tahn, with the air of one who has suddenly unravelled a hitherto obscure problem; "you want to get the local temperature."
I appeal to Mrs. Cornett " exclaimed the discomfited Agnes. "Mrs. Cornett repeated your remark afterwards to Bertie van Tahn," continued Tobermory, "and said, 'That woman is a regular Hunger Marcher; she'd go anywhere for four square meals a day, and Bertie van Tahn said " At this point the chronicle mercifully ceased.
"On the first evening of their visit they wandered into the casino after a fairly early dinner, and hovered near the tables. Bertie van Tahn was staying there at the time, and he described the whole incident to me.
No one had ever quite mastered the mechanism of this precious vessel, but Bertie van Tahn was responsible for the legend that its spout had to be kept facing north during the process of infusion.
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