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Updated: June 19, 2025
If I could be born again, and had the designing of myself, I'd be born the lowest and coarsest-minded person imaginable, so that I could find plenty of companionship, or I'd be born an idiot, which would be better still." "Sybylla!" said my mother in a shocked tone. "It is a wonder God doesn't strike you dead; I never heard "
You, Sybylla, thought this! You, a chit in your teens, an ugly, poor, useless, unimportant, little handful of human flesh, and, above, or rather below, all, a woman only a woman! It would indeed be a depraved and forsaken man who would need your services as a stay and support! Ha ha! The conceit of you!" Because? The Beechams were vacating Five-Bob almost immediately before Christmas.
"Because I have been cursed with the power of seeing, thinking, and, worse than all, feeling, and branded with the stinging affliction of ugliness," I replied. "Now, Sybylla, you are going to think of yourself again. Something has put you out. Be sensible for once in a way. What you have said of men's love may be true in a sense, but it is not always so, and Harry is not that kind of man.
By the generosity of relatives and the goodness of neighbours as kind as ever breathed, our furniture was our own again, but what were we to do for a living? Our crops were withering in the fields for want of rain, and we had but five cows not an over-bright outlook. As I was getting to bed one night my mother came into my room and said seriously, "Sybylla, I want to have a talk with you."
Why, oh, why, would they not love me a little in return! Certainly I had never striven to be lovable. But see the love some have lavished upon them without striving for it! Why was I ugly and nasty and miserable and useless without a place in the world? Aunt Helen's Recipe "Dear me, Sybylla, not in bed yet, and tears, great big tears! Tell me what is the cause of them."
What would they say about having to support such a big girl as you are?" "I will go and earn my own living, and when you get me weeded out of the family you will have a perfect paradise. Having no evil to copy, the children will grow up saints," I said bitterly. "Now, Sybylla, it is foolish to talk like that, for you know that you take no interest in your work.
I felt certain as I watched him that he had quite forgotten the incident of the little girl with the lemons. "Sybylla, hurry up and get dressed. Put on your best bib and tucker, and I will leave Harry Beecham in your charge, as I want to superintend the making of some of the dishes myself this evening." "It's too early to put on my evening dress, isn't it, auntie?
What happened there we never knew. That is all we heard of the matter except the numerous garbled accounts which were carried home that afternoon. "Sybylla, what are you doing? Where is your mother?" "I'm ironing. Mother's down at the fowl-house seeing after some chickens. What do you want?" It was my father who addressed me. Time, 2 o'clock p.m.
I don't know where her rebellious spirit will eventually lead her. I hope M'Swat's will tame her; it will do her good. It is absolutely necessary that she should remain there, so do not say anything to give her other ideas &c. Mother's Letter to Me My dear Sybylla, I wish you would not write and worry your poor old grandmother, who has been so good to you.
He had meant all his actions towards me, and had taken mine in return. "Thank you, Sybylla, that is all I want. We will talk about the matter more some other time. I will go up to Caddagat next Sunday. You have surprised me nearly out of my wits," here he laughed. "I never dreamt you would say yes so easily, just like any other girl. I thought I would have a lot of trouble with you."
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