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Updated: June 21, 2025
"You make me tired!" "Go have your voice filed, so you won't be an old woman." "Who be you callin' an old woman?" cried Nancy, catching the words with wonderful quickness. "I must say your language is most surprisin' and offensive, sir." "Excuse me," roared Scotch. "I was speaking to Mr. Jenks." "But he isn't a woman," said Nancy, suspiciously.
"Surprisin' ain't it," says I, "how many of them shells can be turned out by " "S-s-s-sh!" says he, glancin' cautious at the omnibus-boy comin' to set up our table. "Eh?" says I, after we've been supplied with rolls and sweet butter and ice water. "Why the panic?" "Spies!" he whispers husky. "What, him?" says I, starin' after the innocent-lookin' party in the white apron.
"You-all is plenty opulent on sanctooaries," I says to the barkeep at the tavern where I camps for the night. "It's surprisin', too, when you considers the size of the herd. What be the two deenom'nations that worships at them structures?" ""Both Baptis'," says the barkeep.
Why, d'you mean to tell me you don't know wot bleedin' a buoy is?" "I'm afraid my nautical knowledge is very limited," I apologised. "It's surprisin' wot some shoregoin' blokes don't know abart th' Navy, sir," said the burly one with some contempt, chuckling away to himself.
'So wid the first light, up gets the two boys, that war to take the sperit, as they consaved, to Tipperary; an' they cotched the ould gandher, an' put him in the hamper, and clapped a good wisp iv hay an' the top iv him, and tied it down sthrong wid a bit iv a coard, and med the sign iv the crass over him, in dhread iv any harum, an' put the hamper up an the car, wontherin' all the while what in the world was makin' the ould burd so surprisin' heavy.
"Well, we run the gauntlet, presented every block with stuff rangin' in tensile strength from insults to asphalt pavements, and noise! say, all the racket in the world was a whisper. I caught a glimpse of the old man leanin' out of the pilot house, where a window had been, his white hair bristly, and his nostrils h'isted, embellishin' the air with surprisin' flights of gleeful profanity.
"Yes, there was," she admitted. "But I don't know that it is worth while troubling you, after all. It is not likely that you can help me. I don't see how any one can." "Probably you're right. I I ain't liable to be much help to anybody. But I'm awful willin' to try. And sometimes, you know sometimes surprisin' things happen.
'By the Lord Harry, no! said the trooper, a young man who saw no reason not to be sociable. 'It's the most surprisin' thing out where he's got to. They've been all round him, reg'lar cordon-like, and he must have disappeared into the earth or gone up in a balloon to get away. It took us a week's travelling or more to get to Berrima. Sometimes we were all night in the coach as well as all day.
Ma'am, jewel, don't be takin' it to heart that way though, dear knows, 'tis no way surprisin' you would; for may I never sin if ever I seen such a murtherin' steel gimblet as the red-faced docthor I mane the Dublin man has out on the table beside the poor masther 'tid frighten the hangman to look at it an' six towels, too!
I believe they tuned up higher and louder when I went in it wouldn't be nothin' surprisin' if they did, some as the brass band strikes up as the hero enters. This song wuz the loud, strong chorus of Labor, that echoes all over the world, grand chorus that is played by the full orkestry of the sons and daughters of toil. Oh, how many notes there is in this strong, ail-pervadin' anthem!
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