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In what had he proved himself generous or capable of the virtues that subdue? Such reasoning led to self-mockery. She was no longer the girl who questioned her heart as to the significance of the vows required in the marriage service; in looking back upon those struggles she could have wept for pity. Love would submit to no analysis; it was of her life; as easy to account for the power of thought.
There is in his face a certain cheery cynicism a combination of self-confidence and perhaps of self-mockery, the attitude of most clear-sighted men towards fortune, even when she is most smiling. At the outset Mr. Asquith had to encounter an amendment from Mr. Chamberlain.
"Mockery?" "Yes. I feel it." "But didn't you find her very kind?" "Oh, yes. I meant of self-mockery." Braybrooke looked rather dubious. "I think," continued Craven, perhaps a little obstinately, "that she looks upon herself with irony, while Miss Van Tuyn looks upon others with irony. Perhaps, though, that is rather a question of the different outlooks of youth and age." "H'm?"
I hate to record scenes of this sort; but, as I have imposed the task upon myself; I will go through it; and, though the temptation is great, seeing what I was then, the disciple as well as the offspring of romance, and what I now am, worldly in the world's most sordid worldliness, to do my penance in self-mockery for the sake of the young hearts still unseared, I will refrain.
However, it was through the social passion, once so real in him, and still living, in spite of disillusion and self-mockery, that Robert caught him, had in fact been slowly gaining possession of him all these months.
Paul took up sorrily his wife's rather hysterical note of self-mockery, and laughed and joked over the varied eccentricities of the pretentious menu. But there was no laughter in his heart. Never before, in all his life, from babyhood up, had he been forced to know the acrid taste of failure, and the dose was not sweetened by his intense consciousness that he was not in any way responsible.
"Oh, I thought you were asleep," said he. "I can't wait for you to get breakfast. I must get a move on." "Still blue?" "No, indeed." But his face was not convincing. "So long, pet." "Aren't you going to kiss me good-by?" He laughed tenderly, yet in bitter self-mockery too. "And waste an hour or so? Not much. What a siren you are!" She put her hand over her face quickly.
Braybrooke pulled at his grey-and-brown beard. "I scarcely see I scarcely see, I confess, why age should be more disposed to self-mockery than youth.
When a few minutes later the girl hastily reëntered the room, she carried on her arm a man's coat and hat; her appearance was feverish, her eyes wide and shining. "Your clothes are torn would attract attention! These were on the rack I don't know whose but I stole them! stole them!" She spoke quickly with a little hard note of self-mockery. Her voice broke off suddenly; she looked around her.
She thought of that figure in the dim past, that rugged, harsh-featured man, who had given her the first suggestion of independence; thrice her own age, yet the inspirer of such tumultuous emotion in her ignorant heart; her friend at Clevedon Mr. Smithson. A question from Mary Barfoot had caused her to glance back at him across the years, but only for an instant, and with self-mockery.
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