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Updated: May 21, 2025


This done, Mr Pugstyles proceeded to business. 'Question number one. Whether, sir, you did not give a voluntary pledge previous to your election, that in event of your being returned, you would immediately put down the practice of coughing and groaning in the House of Commons.

If it means that I grow a little too fervid, or perhaps even hyperbolical, in extolling my native land, I admit the full justice of the remark. I AM proud of this free and happy country. My form dilates, my eye glistens, my breast heaves, my heart swells, my bosom burns, when I call to mind her greatness and her glory. 'We wish, sir, remarked Mr Pugstyles, calmly, 'to ask you a few questions.

'Nothing whatever, replied Mr Gregsbury. The deputation, who had only seen him at canvassing or election time, were struck dumb by his coolness. He didn't appear like the same man; then he was all milk and honey; now he was all starch and vinegar. But men ARE so different at different times! 'Question number three and last, said Mr Pugstyles, emphatically.

'Do my eyes deceive me, said Mr Gregsbury, looking towards the speaker, 'or is that my old friend Pugstyles? 'I am that man, and no other, sir, replied the plump old gentleman. 'Give me your hand, my worthy friend, said Mr Gregsbury. 'Pugstyles, my dear friend, I am very sorry to see you here.

'If you please, gentlemen; my time is yours and my country's and my country's said Mr Gregsbury. This permission being conceded, Mr Pugstyles put on his spectacles, and referred to a written paper which he drew from his pocket; whereupon nearly every other member of the deputation pulled a written paper from HIS pocket, to check Mr Pugstyles off, as he read the questions.

'Will you do me the favour to present my compliments to the constituent body, and acquaint them with this circumstance? 'With great esteem, 'My dear Mr Pugstyles, &c.&c. 'Then you will not resign, under any circumstances? asked the spokesman. Mr Gregsbury smiled, and shook his head. 'Then, good-morning, sir, said Pugstyles, angrily. 'Heaven bless you! said Mr Gregsbury.

'I am very sorry to be here, sir, said Mr Pugstyles; 'but your conduct, Mr Gregsbury, has rendered this deputation from your constituents imperatively necessary.

'I am requested, sir, to express a hope, said Mr Pugstyles, with a distant bow, 'that on receiving a requisition to that effect from a great majority of your constituents, you will not object at once to resign your seat in favour of some candidate whom they think they can better trust.

'Dear Pugstyles' having taken a very long stare at Mr Gregsbury over the tops of his spectacles, resumed his list of inquiries. 'Question number two.

'Whether, sir, you did not state upon the hustings, that it was your firm and determined intention to oppose everything proposed; to divide the house upon every question, to move for returns on every subject, to place a motion on the books every day, and, in short, in your own memorable words, to play the very devil with everything and everybody? With this comprehensive inquiry, Mr Pugstyles folded up his list of questions, as did all his backers.

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