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Updated: June 9, 2025
Th' prisidint has a great head on him." He opened the paper on his desk and read it. "General Order Number Seven Hundred and Twenty: "To all employees of the Interurban Express Company: Cancel General Order Number Seven Hundred and Nineteen. By order of the president." "As I was sayin'," said Flannery, "th' prisidint has a great head on him." Mike Flannery was the star boarder at Mrs.
'What's th' news of th' day? says th' prisidint. 'Nawthin' doin', says th' janitor. 'Then wake up and sind Flannery a gineral order t' learn th' Declaration av Indepindince by hearrt, says th' prisidint. 'Mebby he do be gittin' lazy! 'And shall I add on th' Constitution av th' United States? says th' janitor. 'Sure! says th' prisidint, ''t will do Flannery no harm t' be busy."
'I hope I have made th' matther clear to ye, he says, 'an', with these few remarks, he says, 'I will tur-rn th' job over to destiny, he says, 'which is sure to lead us iver on an' on, an' back an' forth, a united an' happy people, livin', he says, 'undher an administhration that, thanks to our worthy Prisidint an' his cap-ble an' earnest advisers, is second to none, he says."
Afther he'd been over here awhile an' got so 'twas safe f'r him to go out without bein' torn to pieces f'r soovenirs or lynched be a mob, he took a look ar-round him an' says he to a polisman: 'What's th' governmint iv this counthry"? 'Tis a raypublic, says th' polisman. 'What's th' main guy called? says George. 'He's called prisidint, says th' polisman. 'Is it a good job? says Cousin George.
Like as not 'tis the prisidint, himself, he is colloguein' wid, this blessed minute. Shtep back and be a stranger to him, woman!" A stranger to him, his own mother! But she stepped back; she turned her patient face. Then Tommy saw her. A wave of red flushed all over his face. He took two steps down the aisle, and caught the little figure in his arms.
"And is it possible 'tis only th' sivin hundred an' noineteenth of thim I have been gettin'? I w'u'd have said 't was th' forty-sivinth thousand gineral order I have had t' learn and memorize. Wheniver th' prisidint, or th' vice-prisidint, or th' manager, or th' janitor, or th' office-boy at th' head office has nawthin' else t' do they be thinkin' up a new gineral order t' sind t' Flannery.
Did ye r-read it? he says. 'I did, says I. 'What did ye think iv it? says he. 'I know, says I, 'why more people don't go to church, says I." "I see," said Mr. Hennessy, "that Dewey is a candydate f'r prisidint." "Well, sir" said Mr. Dooley, "I hope to hiven he won't get it. No rilitive iv mine iver held a pollytical job barrin' mesilf.
Th' time was whin it was me ambition or wan iv thim to be a king. Arly in life I'd committed the youthful folly iv bein' born outside iv th' counthry an' so I cuddent be Prisidint. But it don't make anny diff'rence what counthry a king comes from so long as he don't come fr'm th' counthry where he's king. 'No natives need apply, is th' motto.
I cud say about a man: 'He was a hero in th' war with Spain, but how can I say: 'Shake hands with Bill Grady, wan iv th' ladin' casualties iv our late war? 'Twud be no more thin to say he was wan iv th' gallant men that voted f'r prisidint in 1896." "No, Hinnissy, people wants novelties in war. Th' war fashions iv 1898 is out iv style. They ar-re too full in th' waist an' too long in th' skirt.
Th' frindship ceminted two years ago with blood an' beers is busted. I don't know whether annything will happen. Hogan thinks so, but I ain't sure. Th' Prisidint has announced that rather thin see wan octoginaryan Jap prevented fr'm larnin' his a-bee-abs he will divastate San Francisco with fire, flood, dinnymite, an' personalities.
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