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Updated: June 2, 2025
Thomas Jefferson held these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these rights are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Theatrical office-boys do not see eye to eye with Thomas. From their pinnacle they look down on the common herd, the canaille, and despise them.
And still Henry sat, in the leathern chair at the big table in Sir George's big room, thinking, thinking, thinking, in a vague but golden and roseate manner, about the future. Then the door opened, and Foxall, the emperor of the Powellian office-boys, entered. 'Here's someone to see you, Foxall whispered archly; he economized time by licking envelopes the while.
These girls of the common herd were expected to call the secretaries, "Miss," no matter what street-corner impertinences they used to one another. There was no caste, though there was much factional rivalry, among the slaves beneath the stenographers, copyists, clerks, waiting-room attendants, office-boys, elevator-boys.
She sighed over the cheap jackets, with silesia linings and raveled buttonholes, which nameless copyists tried to make attractive by the clean embroidered linen collars which they themselves laundered in wash-bowls in the evening. She discovered that even after years of experience with actual office-boys and elevator-boys, Mr. Ross still saw them only as slangy, comic-paper devils.
During the next hour and a half he gleaned considerable information regarding British business methods, the while he monotonously pounded the sidewalk. At nine-thirty a scouting party of dignified office-boys made a cautious approach.
But you're a practical fellow, and you must see what I mean. Try to make Draper see it. Make him understand how it looks to have him drop his Bible Class just at this particular time. It was his own choice to take up religious teaching among young men. He began with our office-boys, and then the work spread and was blessed.
He saw the years, the brilliant winter days and all the long sweet afternoons which were meant for summery meadows, lost in such brittle pretentiousness. He thought of telephoning about leases, of cajoling men he hated, of making business calls and waiting in dirty anterooms hat on knee, yawning at fly-specked calendars, being polite to office-boys.
Those who have studied the subject have come to the conclusion that the boorishness of theatrical managers' office-boys cannot be the product of mere chance.
It sickened him. So few, moreover, were willing to give without acknowledgment in at least one morning paper. 'Bring back the receipt' was the first maxim even of the office-boys; and between the right hand and the left of every one were special 'private wires' that flashed the news as quickly as possible about the entire world.
Shabby readers do not like great issues. My poor little sermon is concerned with a great issue, the clearing of the way for a critical standard, whereby the ultimate photoplay may be judged. I cannot teach office-boys ways to make "quick money" in the "movies." That seems to be the delicately implied purpose of the mass of books on the photoplay subject. They are, indeed, a sickening array.
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