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Updated: April 30, 2025
"Susceptible ardent tender affection Love Diana Vernon, the most beautiful creature I ever beheld, in love with him, the bandy-legged, bull-necked, limping scoundrel! Richard the Third in all but his hump-back!
It was a trick of his, when he surprised me stooping over a book, to hit me a terrific thwack between the shoulder-blades, a blow that made my backbone tingle with pain. "Set up straight! Do you want to be a hump-back when you grow big?" His pursuit drove me from corner to corner, till I lost my mischievous boldness and began to act timid and fearful.
I will take care how I do that, said Hump-back, unless the sun be risen. Know, sir, that when I came thither last night, on a sudden a black cat appeared to me, and in an instant grew as big as a buffalo: I have not forgotten what he said to me; therefore you may go about your business, and leave me here.
While the fairy thus encouraged Bedreddin, and instructed him how he should behave himself, Hump-back was really gone out of the room; for the genius went to him in the shape of a great cat, miauling at a most fearful rate: The fellow called to the cat, and clapped his hands to make her flee; but, instead of that, the cat stood upon her hind feet, staring with her eyes like fire, looking fiercely at him, miauling louder than she did at first, and growing bigger, till she was as large as an ass.
The beautiful bride was agreeably surprised to find instead of hump-back a handsome youth, who gracefully addressed her. "What! my dear friend," said she, "by your being here at this time of night you must be my husband's comrade?" "No, madam," said Buddir ad Deen, "I am of another quality than that ugly hump-back." "But," said she, "you do not consider that you speak degradingly of my husband."
At this sight Hump-back would have cried out for help, but his fear was so great that he stood gaping, and could not utter one word. That he might have no time, however, to recover, the genius changed himself immediately into a large buffalo, and in this shape called to him with a voice that redoubled his fear, Thou hump-backed villain!
O my lord, said Hump-back, I pray you to pardon me; if I am guilty, it, is through ignorance; I did not know that this lady had a buffalo for her sweetheart: Command me in any thing you please; I give you my oath that I am ready to obey you.
It is such a sad thing to be born a sneaking fellow, so much worse than to inherit a hump-back or a couple of club-feet, that I sometimes feel as if we ought to love the crippled souls, if I may use this expression, with a certain tenderness which we need not waste on noble natures.
Nor did he stop here; but that the tailor, Jewish doctor, purveyor, and Christian merchant, might remember, with pleasure, the adventure which the accident of Hump-back had occasioned to them, he did not send them away till he had given each of them a very rich robe, with which he caused them to be clothed in his presence.
The sultan of Casgar, and those with him, who were witnesses to this operation, were less surprised to see Hump-back revive, after he had passed a whole night and great part of a day without giving any signs of life, than at the merit and capacity of the barber who performed this; and, notwithstanding all his faults, began to look upon him as a great person.
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