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Nevertheless, when he rose from the wall he had resolved that Hetta should be pardoned entirely, and that Paul Montague should be treated as though he were pardoned. As for himself, the chances of the world had been unkind to him, and he would submit to them! Nevertheless he wrote no answer to Hetta's letter.
As long as she was present in London, as long at any rate as he was unable to tell himself that he had finally broken away from her, he knew himself to be an unfit companion for Henrietta Carbury. And, indeed, he was still under some promise made to Roger Carbury, not that he would avoid Hetta's company, but that for a certain period, as yet unexpired, he would not ask her to be his wife.
If she abandoned that she could do herself no good by telling a story of her wrongs to another woman. Then came Hetta's note, so stiff, so cold, so true, so like the letter of an Englishwoman, as Mrs Hurtle said to herself. Mrs Hurtle smiled as she read the letter. 'I make this proposition not thinking that anything you can say to me can change my mind. Of course the girl's mind would be changed.
She could not interest herself in Hetta's coming marriage, as that marriage was in direct opposition to one of her broken schemes. She had not ventured to confess so much to Mr Broune, but she had in truth written the first pages of the first chapter of a second novel. It was impossible now that she should even look at what she had written. All this made her very sad.
It was to be carried out only in the event of Hetta's yielding to his prayer. But he had in fact not made a prayer, and Hetta had certainly yielded nothing. When the evening came, Lady Carbury started with her son and daughter, and Roger was left alone. In the ordinary course of his life he was used to solitude.
He did not try to convince himself that all this was the verbiage of an enthusiastic girl, who might soon be turned and trained to another mode of thinking by fitting admonitions. To him now, as he read and re-read Hetta's letter sitting on the wall, there was not at any rate further hope for himself.
In regard to her daughter she was always influenced by a vague idea that Hetta was an unnecessary trouble. There was an excellent match ready for her if she would only accept it. There was no reason why Hetta should continue to add herself to the family burden. She never said this even to herself, but she felt it, and was not therefore inclined to consult Hetta's comfort on this occasion.
If Hetta could know everything exactly, if she could look back and read the state of Paul's mind as he, Roger, could read it, then she would probably forgive the man, or perhaps tell herself that there was nothing for her to forgive. Roger was anxious that Hetta's anger should burn hot, because of the injury done to himself.
It was after this that Mrs Hurtle received Hetta's letter. She had as yet returned no answer to Paul Montague, nor had she intended to send any written answer. Were she to comply with his request she could do so best by writing to the girl who was concerned rather than to him.
He is so clever!" said Susan. "I don't know that they would have done me much good," replied Hetta. "Good! Well, they'd do me more good than a long sermon, I know," said Susan; "except on a Sunday, of course," she added apologetically. This was an ill-tempered attack both on Hetta and Hetta's admirer. But then why had Hetta been so snappish?
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