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Updated: July 28, 2025
Old Aristotle, long ago, laboured to define wherein consisted the trait known as gentlemanliness; others will have puzzled since his day, for we have bedaubed ourselves with so thick a coating of manner and phrase that many a cad will pass for something better. Well, here is the test. Unvarnish your man; make him drink, and listen. That was my procedure with P. G. Esquire.
It was Sunday morning at Putnam's, and in Maudie's estimation things were more comme il faut than they had been for long past. About a fortnight since there had been trouble in the yard during the night, and after it, for some hours before he went away, the Monster-without-Manners had been subdued almost to gentlemanliness. Then two of the fan-tails had been taken ill.
His first duty was to go to Constantine Jopp, and speak his regret like a man. And after that it would be his duty to carry a double debt his life long for the life saved, for the wrong done. He owed an apology to La Touche, and he was scarcely aware that the native gentlemanliness in him had said through his fever of passion over the footlights: "I beg your pardon."
He is a regular donkey." "Are his manners disagreeable?" "No-o-o, I don't know that they are. In fact, I believe he prides himself on the reputation he has acquired for gentlemanliness." "Then, what is so disagreeable about him?" "Perhaps," dryly suggested the father of the Young Person, "he is not particularly fond of you, and that it why you disapprove of him."
The mercantile ideal and the chivalrous ideal counterbalance each other; and if the one produces the ugliness of English society and its brutal side, the other serves as a compensation. The gentleman, then, is the man who is master of himself, who respects himself, and makes others respect him. The essence of gentlemanliness is self-rule, the sovereignty of the soul.
While Poe was writing of "Longfellow and other Plagiarists," Longfellow was helping to keep Poe alive by the loans which always made themselves gifts in Poe's case. He very, very rarely spoke of himself at all, and almost never of the grievances which he did not fail to share with all who live. He was patient, as I said, of all things, and gentle beyond all mere gentlemanliness.
"My kind friend here helped me a good deal," I said. Mr. Harrison was introduced to the others, and soon we were seated, on the piazza, and I was relating my experiences. The interest of my listeners grew as I went on. They could hardly believe it possible that Mr. Aaron Woodward, with all his outward show of gentlemanliness, was such a thoroughly bad man.
In point of gentlemanliness he is unrivalled, and I should say that next to myself he is of all men the best suited to your purpose. 'Expecting your reply, 'I am, &c. &c. Master Humphrey informs this gentleman that his application, both as it concerns himself and his friend, is rejected. MY old companion tells me it is midnight.
He gave to all who asked, and not so much from good nature or confidence in people as from exaggerated gentlemanliness as though he would say: "Take it and feel how comme il faut I am!"
A certain gentlemanliness had been imparted to it by nature, suggesting an inherent wish to do rightly by all. His speech was a little slow, but his tones were sincere enough to make his hesitation no defect. His greying hair was curly, and radiated from a point in the middle of his crown. There were four lines across his forehead, and he only wore spectacles when reading at night.
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